The quest for enjoying motherhood has been a little bumpy for me...but I'm finding out that, little did I know, I guess that's normal in our day and age. I don't have to be ashamed of that rocky transition, and in fact, I need to share it to let other women know that it's okay. With being fed so much propaganda growing up via media and even in the public school system, it's hard not to think motherhood is an interruption on the path women are supposed to take. And even if you don't have children, despite what the world may say, it's okay to do those things that enrich others and build others up instead of prove you're just as good as the rest of the corporate world. But life wasn't supposed to be about a career. A career was supposed to be a means to an end.
Isn't it ironic that in this day and age from the age of roughly four years old we start sending our children to school, be it half days or what have you, so they can start preparing for elementary school (however, I do realize there are many other more awesome reasons to send kids to school but stay with me on this path for a minute), so they can start attending school for roughly 6-7 hours for five days a week from age 5 until 18 only to send them to college for maybe 4 more years (for my husband make that 13 more years)...and for what? Society says you need to do this so you can prepare for a good job, or getting maybe a better job than you would have had without an education...and why? So you can earn enough money to live on, to enjoy life...to be happy. I can't fully articulate it here, but it just alarms me that our entire society seems so completely focused on getting jobs and money. It's like so many people got caught in this vein and went with it until we became draft horses with blinders on digging ourselves deeper and deeper into this never-ending race to learn more and more to become more and more to earn more and more so you can buy more and more...until you realize it's never enough. You'll never have enough money or stuff or education or know everything you want to know. And if you focus on that it gets depressing.
But here's an enlightening thought. We don't have to keep going. We can take the blinders off and see the bigger picture. We can learn to be content. And in the process of freeing ourselves from the ever incessant chant of "more and more" we realize that that wasn't really the point of life anyway. How did we get here?
I'm not saying stop worrying about getting a good job, or not doing your best at your education, or don't send your kids to public school. I'm just saying isn't it ironic that the world says do all this to get a job so you can have money, and family just happens along the way so someone stays home with the kids while the other spouse gets to do what they were meant to do by having the career they have been preparing for their whole life--when if you look back far enough, it started out being we're here to be a part of a family and that was where the heart of the education of life took place, and someone went out into the work place to support the family since they couldn't be completely self-sustaining by themselves anymore while the other spouse got to stay home doing what they were REALLY meant to do and doing the kind of education that takes place mostly by example and hard work...but with lots of love and respect. The stay-at-home spouse and family don't support the working spouse...the working spouse is there to support the family. (In truth, though, they are supposed to be mutually supportive, because they all need each other.) The family is where true learning happens, true love happens, true happiness happens. You can go to school every day all day and gain all the knowledge you want, but for me it just seems like right now all that learning would never make sense without the practical application that happens in being raised as part of and raising your own family. And I mean "family" in the sense that whoever you feel a part of and who you want to sacrifice for and care for. Anyone can be a part of this kind of family if they look around and find people to love and care for, even if they don't live together.
I don't normally sound so soap-box-ish, and please don't think I'm on the extreme end. I'm just in one of those mindsets right now where I feel I'm supposed to write my thoughts down and not analyze them to death to remove any offenses or to make sure I didn't forget everything. That kind of writing is exhausting and not satisfying. So thanks for staying with me on my few moments (that are ever increasing as Bekah is now all day at school...which is partly where this began...who decided my little girl needed to be gone all day every day!) of quiet while James is sleeping (who just woke up so I need to go) to unload some heavy thoughts that probably don't make total sense. Call it possible glimpses into empty-nester syndrome. My heart grieves at times to see her go each day. But part of me is excited to see what she brings home each day in art work and spelling tests...and in life experiences to share and recess stories and how I can help her with the practical application of her public education. (Like 'you have 10 plates and while unloading the dishwasher you break 2...how many do you have left.')
Anyway, my friend Anne just started a new blog with her friend, called Bloom. As a different friend explained: "One of them described this new blog to me a few months ago as a site, 'full of articles, ideas, tutorials, inspiration, etc. for the woman/mom who is trying to bloom, blossom, become more.' " Anne put it best in a post about herself about this whole transition to fulfilling womanhood and becoming mothers that very much describes some of my thoughts when first becoming a mom. If you don't follow any links but one, choose this one to read her brief story. This new venture of hers immediately brought forward to my mind quotes from leaders pleading with women to be forces for good, who promote and uphold the family. Whether it be one blog entry at a time, one conversation at a time, one day at a time, one moment at a time, we can stand up and say, "It's okay to take those blinders off and be free of the race for 'more and more'. Come see how much peace there is in letting go and being content, and living for your family."
As society gets more and more caught up in digging deeper and deeper into the never ending pit, our lights of peace and family and contentment will only shine brighter and brighter until people will flock to ask questions about how they can have that too. Not in a conceited way. But because the more you find love in your family, the more you want others to have what you have. One moment at a time, we can be an influence for good in this world. Suddenly, thinking you have to change the world doesn't seem so overwhelming. And isn't it awe-inspiring how much easier it is to change the world this way than by having the career society thinks I should have?
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