Stranger to Bekah: "Why aren't you in school, young lady?"
Bekah: "I'm homeschooled."
Strager: "Oh...why were you pulled out of school?"
Bekah: "My mom pulled me out because I'm too smart."
Bekah told me this in the car on the way home after this happened. I was not in the room at the time. She said, "I had so many details I could share about why I was pulled out... but I decided to just go with the short answer."
Mom: "That's wonderful, Bekah! We've been working on that...that when we're chit-chatting with someone they don't want to hear all the details. We like to save our details for our best friends."
Bekah: "Yeah, when I'm with (best friend) I can't keep anything back!"
Mom: "I'm so proud of you for giving a short answer in this situation."
Bekah: "Yeah, it was like I was being la-cone-ic."
Mom: "You mean, laconic?"
Bekah: "Yeah, that. Just like the Greeks."
That was my favorite mom moment of the day...maybe even the whole week or longer. I love knowing what she's learning is sinking in. I love that I saw a confident young lady who is growing up wonderfully. I love being with you each day, Bekah!
Showing posts with label Bekah. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bekah. Show all posts
Friday, September 30, 2011
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Pretend it's May/June 2010
More updating. We're getting there. :)
More on homeschooling and learning styles
Finished reading The Well Trained Mind by Jesse Wise. Amazing book. Have had a copy for so long (borrowed from my friend) but hadn't spent much time with it until now (end of May/early June) as it's so big and overwhelming. Yet one night after deciding I needed to seriously consider homeschooling, and feeling strongly led in that direction that it may be the right thing for Bekah, despite my inclination to not want to do it, I read almost the whole thing in one night (all but chapter 1 and the jr high, high school years). Didn't get much sleep, but sometimes you just really feel like God is directing you and wants you to do something even in the middle of the night. It's the only time to really meditate and be able to see the whole picture of something because there are no interruptions. Somehow I was blessed with seeing more of the big picture of elementary education and how to go about it for our situation. Reading review after review of curriculum, yet within minutes receiving inspiration just by having it feel right or not right, and at the same time having to ignore my strong inner makeup that tells me I have to research everything about everything so I can make informed decisions. Learning to trust those feelings and acknowledging that it's help I need, so I can move on and do what needs to be done. I don't think I've ever felt that much inspiration flowing through me in that short of a time frame. (And I sure do look back and remember this night when the days get hard, when I wonder why I am doing this. The scripture somewhere that says "why doubt ye? I have already given you an answer" frequently comes to my mind.)
Sometimes I wish I could feel that 'pure inspiration flowing' into me more often, it's such a wonderful feeling to really feel like you're headed on the right path and not just hoping or guessing you're near it. I wish I had more time to ponder and meditate, but it seems to always come at the expense of leaving something else undone my family or my household needs. Motherhood lately seems to comprise less of diaper changing and feeding, and more of taxi-ing, phone calls, and constant interruptions. I'm not sure I like this increased busy-ness...it's so hard to make time to enjoy. I guess that's a hidden blessing of having another child is it forces you to feed and diaper change which ends up being a wonderful break from the hectic pace of life. If you would have told me this while in the thick of it with Bekah, I would never have believed it!
Later in May...studying more about curriculum and assessing learning styles. Fun side track trying to guess what Meiers Briggs code we each are! My best guess is Bekah is ENFP, but I think that might change as she gets older (Extrovert, intuiting, feeling, perceiving). Myself, INFJ (Introvert, intuiting, feeling, judging). I'm guessing Jason is ISTJ or ISTP (Introvert, sensing, thinking, and either judging or perceiving). Easy to see how Bekah is constantly feeling like life is boring since we're both introverts and she's not! It says a good occupation for Bekah's style is journalist--totally perfect fit! She loves to watch and listen for the news and has to know what's going to everyone everywhere! She loves getting the whole story. And she loves stories that really happened. She will love studying history!
Best introductory homeschooling book I've read so far: So You're Thinking About Homeschooling by Lisa Whelchel, former Fact of Life actress. Really easy read and helps introduce about 17 possible ways to homeschool. Totally makes you feel like you can find a method that works for you.
Piano lessons and summer job
I think in all these updating posts, I think I forgot to mention that I've started teaching piano lessons. Never thought I'd be one of those moms who works two jobs and still holds it together--I always thought I didn't have it in my to do all that and it seems like what supermoms do. But it is what it is. I was surprised to discover what the going rate for lessons out here is, so it makes it profitable in a third of the time it takes to clean a house! So at the end of March I began teaching one of Bekah's friends whose mom asked if I would teach. I also started teaching Bekah as well--wondered if teaching my own child would work, but since she's aware of someone else taking lessons and is at about the same level, it keeps her motivated to learn.
I'm finding I like teaching more than I thought I would. I've taught here and there, but never to do it for a regular paycheck. And I never liked the idea of forcing kids to practice when I know if that had happened to me I never would have liked the piano so much. But at the same time, I'm finding it wonderful to remember how excited I am about music and finding ways to inspire others to find that enjoyment.
So since it's summer now (Jason is done with his semester May 1st) I go back to working 3-4 days a week cleaning houses, and now piano lessons 1 day a week. (Thus the reason for almost no blogging or keeping up with friends since then. And just wait, it only gets crazier in September!) This gives Jason a sorely needed break from teaching, allow us to have an income with a flexible schedule so we can go to Utah for 4 weeks this summer, and frees up Jason's time to finish his office and the family room in the basement (originally for more play space, but now using it for homeschool mostly). I don't mind cleaning houses when you have clients you like to clean for, but these past two summers when you get random clients it's really hard to go to work. You never know what you're going to find. It might take 3 hours, it might take 6. You might be threatened by pets or overwhelmed by mold. It's not easy work. It's hard on my body. But it's worked out to be the best job for me right now as I know my weaknesses and limitations--needing a highly flexible schedule where I can leave the work day at work and not be tempted to be a workaholic. The occasional tips are nice too. :)
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
When I got home from work and taking Jason to the doctor and getting medicine, just in time for Bekah to get home from school, we tried to do something fun and spontaneous since Bekah was having a rough day. So we donned our bathing suits and turned the hose on in the front yard, only to be attacked by mosquitoes! They are extremely bad this year! Even the long-timers say it's bad. They come out in the day now, not just at night, and since we're behind on cutting our grass and haven't sprayed yet, they love our house. Poor Bekah. In 10 minutes we had about 10 bites between us. We had to stop. So to make up for it, we let the kids play in their suits in the bathtub with water guns and spray bottles. Almost as fun! They had a blast. We should do that more often. Except then JJ slipped and hit his head. Poor James.
Jason still has bronchitis and is trying some new medicine. I took the kids out of the house so he could sleep and we found a night light for James! Both kids love it! It's this cute white bear they named Fuzzy as soon as they saw it. It's a rechargeable animal you can carry around with you that runs on LED lights from Target. James has started not sleeping through the night because he's become scared of the dark, so we're hoping this will solve the problem. It's too much for me to deal with a sick husband and a toddler who won't sleep through the night anymore and work during the day all at the same time. This one night while Jason was gone on his trip, went to bed late because of homeschool research, slept for a half hour when JJ started screaming! He took an hour to fall back asleep, then awake again at his normal 7am. This happened both Fri and Sat night. Then Sunday night when I was trying to go to bed early (albeit 11pm) JJ woke up right then screaming and he'd only calm down if I stayed in the room so I ended up falling asleep in his chair until 1am. Finally got into my bed, only be woken up by Bekah who had a bad dream. Then JJ started crying again! I don't remember what happened after that, but I ended up averaging 4 hours of sleep each night Jason was gone! Sure taught me how hard single parenting is. So I'm hoping the night light helps James.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
It worked! JJ screamed for about 2 seconds and then it was silent. He put himself back to sleep! The night light, although not cheap, was worth every penny!
Ended up going to urgent care today because a bug bite I got on my hand while running in the hose started swelling up. Put me on antibiotic and dr also decided to give me a tetanus shot since I think I was 16 for the last one. That hurt worse than my thumb! And it made me feel exhausted. (Come to think of it--it was probably my crazy last several days that actually did it!) Ended up rescheduling work for another day.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Spent an HOUR on the phone with AT&T trying to fix our internet. (Had to be after 9pm since we're out of minutes this month again--luckily their call center is open late.) I'm sensing no savings of time due to technology lately. Sometimes it's so frustrating I almost don't want new things to be invented because I don't want to have to keep up--it's too expensive, takes too much time to learn or starts new habits I didn't have to learn about before.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Bekah and I are reading a kids biography of Abigail Adams, received from her nana for her birthday. Thank you! She loves hearing historical fiction stories.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
JJ went from communicating by noise (could say drink but always preferred making slurping noises instead, knew how to say 'dog' but made 'ruff, ruff' noises intead--that kind of thing--can we say auditory learner!), to very slowly using one word here and there, to fully blasting forward into sentences! And he's using I/me/you in correct form! I'm pretty sure he doesn't realize what he's saying but he copies us a lot. He learns new words every day. He loves big characters he can go hug, like Chuck E Cheese. (He would have LOVED Cosmo!) Favorite phrases right now are "I did it", " 'mon" for come on, "They're coming" for birds (not sure why he got into that), "outside", "lawnmower" sometimes calling it "mow mow", "miwt" or "milt" for milk, and "ug" for hug.
He used to communicate with us by having us ask him a list of questions or so to try to guess what he'd want since having a hard time verbalizing it. So we'd ask things like "diaper change?" JJ: "Nooow" or shake head no or act upset. "Change clothes?" JJ same reaction. "Eat...hungry?" Same. "Blanket?" If this is what he wanted he'd start forced laughing! And that's how you'd know you got it right! It almost sounded like 1/2 crying 1/2 laughing.
He says "Tant U, Wew com" together 'thank you, welcome'--he thinks they go together. He's said "I found it!", "I see it!", "Hold you", "Tee bee" for TV, "mote" for remote, and "Hew-whoa" to mean phone or hello. When he wants Jason to get up out of the rocking chair so mom can rock him to sleep or read stories, while Jason is still holding him, James will grab Jason's shoulder, pull up, and say "Moof!"...which means "out of the chair, I'm done with you, mom's turn to sit in the chair". Hilarious!
His favorite books are A Truck Goes Rattley Bumpa by Jonathan London, "eb-ry-fin" means A Purpose for Everything or A Place for Everything, series by Larry Stewart (love these!)
Went to Chuck E Cheese this afternoon as a family. They added Guitar Hero--my new favorite game! Maybe we should get a wii...
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Favorite moments today:
--Sitting with Bekah in pew during testimony time and being able to trust her to sit alone while I take care of my calling and bear my testimony (since Jason in the hall with JJ), and her helping me set up the hymn numbers up front before church
--JJ walking into nursery, fully decked in his newsie's cap and blazer, hair slightly over his ears, sandwich bag in hand for lunch, all by himself, no crying as I left.
--Pretending we're riding a train while in the car so JJ will stop being upset about not being on a real train (we pass one on the way to/from church), saying things like "the next stop will be..." pretending to be conductors and engineers, "now arriving..."
--family game time playing "mom says" or "dad says" (like simon says). When it was Bekah's turn to choose she said "the chicken dance!" Then Jason found the music for the bunny hop and we hopped around the house and into JJ's room for bed. Totally funny memory I'll always remember, us all acting like chickens and bunnies!
--Papa pretending to be animals for JJ on the phone
--Bekah excited to play piano for me and listening and watching me play
--getting out Bekah's baby quilt and reading the secret message in the stitching
Wonderful day.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Got a bad headache on Saturday and it's still not gone. Pain at the base of my neck, stiffening my neck, throbbing in my throat, ear fullness, little bit of sinus pressure. Feels like a congestion headache but nose not stuffy. Maybe a reaction to spreading mulch on Saturday.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
What a weird day. Headache seemed better, so went to work. Bam--the headache came on hard and fast. I almost passed out from the pain and was almost crying, but I finished the house (in the fastest time ever amazingly), Jason picked me up (he had the car--good thing cause I was in too much pain to drive) and took me to urgent care. I told them it was the worst headache I'd ever had. It was. But that started a chain of events: an iv for pain meds and fluids, CAT scan and other tests, headache still there, so wanted me to go to the hospital for more tests, but since had the iv they were required to send me in an ambulance! So went to immediate care about 11:45am, waved goodbye to family thinking I'd see them in a hour, ended up at the hospital about 3-4pm, neurologist comes in at 5:30/6pm says I need to stay overnight for observation! She said it could be a sinus infection or migraine, but also could be meningitis or a small bleed because of my head injury in Jan. By the time my MRI was done it was 7:30 and JJ was really needing to get to sleep. So I never got to see my family again that day. My visiting teacher (bless her soul) brought me a bag Jason had packed, complete with Bekah's teddy bear and food to eat. So here I am with a 15in TV that's pretty far away up in the corner of the ceiling, a leaky faucet, and wall clock that ticks every 1/2 second when the second hand is from the 6 to the 2 (can you tell I was bored?), plus all the noise from the nurses station across from me with only a curtain between us. It was very difficult to sleep. But I guess no worse than being interrupted by scared kids all night--although I would have preferred that. :{ I miss my family.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
MRI results showed sinusitis. All this for just that! But how grateful I am it was only that. But didn't get released from hospital until 9pm!! The whole day was spent waiting for the neurologist to show up and look at the results. The int med dr and the ENT both said I could go about noon. At 6pm, neurologist shows up and ordered ANOTHER CT, this time with dye. By that time, I told Jason to come and bring kids hoping that would get me out of here faster, even though it was past JJ's bedtime at that point. The nurses gave the kids ice cream. What a day! At least Walgreens filled the Rx in 5 minutes! Obviously had to reschedule work for the next few days.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Substituted for organist in church today. Very humbling since I totally messed up and got all the sound buttons wrong. At least all my music callings have forced us to be early to church.
After church we watched home movies from Disneyland and JJ started calling Darth Vader "helmut". The kids were wanting dessert but we didn't have much and amazingly I had recently got some free martini glasses, I pulled those out and made yogurt parfaits with crushed cornflakes on top (since we were out of granola) and the kids loved it! Maybe a new family tradition. James thought the glasses were candles except you got to eat them.
Tonight Bekah was listing all the things she loves:
"1. Heavenly Father & Jesus the same. 2. Then my family. 3. Next is my relatives all the way until the end. 4. Then my blankies."
She's decided since Jason still has his baby blanket (used as a pillow) that she "will sleep with my blankie when I'm an adult too, since daddy is my relative and we are connected."
Monday, June 14, 2010
Bekah lost a tooth tonight without even knowing it! She wrote a note to the tooth fairy after Jason pointed out she was missing a tooth (we think lost while brushing teeth), luckily the tooth fairy wrote back the she found it in the drain as she's always looking for lost teeth and gave her a $1. The P.S. part said "Thanks for cleaning your room so I can move around easier." Hopefully that will sink in.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Internet still not working! It worked for bit last time the tech came, but now it's been out for a few days. And now our TV doesn't work either. Kids were going nuts waiting in the house all day for the rep to show up, and once he did they couldn't watch TV or play in the living room so despite mosquitoes and the weather, I took the kids for a walk in the stroller to the school park across the street. It started raining and I didn't even care. So we swung on the swings and sang, in the rain which started drizzling and then very quickly started downpouring, so we ran home totally soaked, as Bekah says, "Those people in their cars are so lucky!" I was thinking not. What a memory.
Since Bekah's been out of school she's mellowed out some, is more helpful and patient, and her and JJ play longer together. JJ's vocabulary has increased tons--wonder if this is connected to hearing Bekah more. Homeschooling is looking better and better.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Lately I especially love being around Bekah. I already feel closer with learning new things together (we've started some history and science this summer) and she's become my shopping friend! It's so wonderful to feel us becoming friends.
Favorite memory: Bekah setting up Mommy's Beauty Shop and doing each other's hair. It doesn't seem that long ago that I was in Bekah's place doing exactly the same thing to my mom. Sometimes it's alarming how quick it feels that life comes full circle.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Went to the Crystal Lake beach as a family after dinner. James went up to his waist and chest in the water, no fear, before I had to pull him back some. He loves the water. Bekah's been nervous about swimming and getting in the water over her waist. But tonight she relaxed with Jason there and he was showing her some things about swimming.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Father's Day! I tried putting the pancake batter in a squeeze bottle and made Jason pancakes shaped like D-A-D. Luckily they are letters you can turn around since I didn't realize you need to pour them backwards if you want the even color on top. I was pretty proud of myself for being so creative. :)
JJ kept saying "Appy Faddaz Dey" today--even during sacrament meeting!
Today I found out my sister is expecting!!!! I am so excited for her! It felt good to be the big sister talking it through, something I never got to experience with my first pregnancy.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Bekah really wants a pet, so she's been pretending she has one. A while back she named her plastic Halloween spider "Spike" and set up a portable cage with things for him to do in it. She would ask JJ if he wanted to hold Spike and she would take him around the house. Then it was "Lucky" the plastic goldfish for a week or two. I don't know what happened to Spike, but today she came to dinner with Lucky's baby food jar aquarium except no Lucky. Now it's Sleeping Beauty's gold high heel (plastic) and it's Ricky the cricket! She said he needed air, water, a home and food--"and he eats other insects. I know it sounds gross but that's what they do!" She said she feeds him every day.
I asked her what happened to Lucky. She said he died. "I forgot to feed him." Love her imagination!
JJ's new words: "di-shun-er" for conditioner, "cup a wa-der"
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Cleaned a house. Wanted to be mad at how demanding they were for so little thanks. While cleaning, the question popped into my mind "Why would anyone be like this?" (angrily to myself), then suddenly in a different spirit, "Why would anyone be like this? What happened to make them like this?" And suddenly was able to clean their house without being angry. I felt feeling sorry for them and how unhappy they seemed. Glad I could be someone they feel they got their money's worth on and that I cared about doing the job right.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
My cousin and her family came to visit! It was so fun to stay up late talking to Nate and Julee. We all get a long so well, and Nate is also getting his PhD in English. So fun to entertain company. We are so missing our families.
More on homeschooling and learning styles
Finished reading The Well Trained Mind by Jesse Wise. Amazing book. Have had a copy for so long (borrowed from my friend) but hadn't spent much time with it until now (end of May/early June) as it's so big and overwhelming. Yet one night after deciding I needed to seriously consider homeschooling, and feeling strongly led in that direction that it may be the right thing for Bekah, despite my inclination to not want to do it, I read almost the whole thing in one night (all but chapter 1 and the jr high, high school years). Didn't get much sleep, but sometimes you just really feel like God is directing you and wants you to do something even in the middle of the night. It's the only time to really meditate and be able to see the whole picture of something because there are no interruptions. Somehow I was blessed with seeing more of the big picture of elementary education and how to go about it for our situation. Reading review after review of curriculum, yet within minutes receiving inspiration just by having it feel right or not right, and at the same time having to ignore my strong inner makeup that tells me I have to research everything about everything so I can make informed decisions. Learning to trust those feelings and acknowledging that it's help I need, so I can move on and do what needs to be done. I don't think I've ever felt that much inspiration flowing through me in that short of a time frame. (And I sure do look back and remember this night when the days get hard, when I wonder why I am doing this. The scripture somewhere that says "why doubt ye? I have already given you an answer" frequently comes to my mind.)
Sometimes I wish I could feel that 'pure inspiration flowing' into me more often, it's such a wonderful feeling to really feel like you're headed on the right path and not just hoping or guessing you're near it. I wish I had more time to ponder and meditate, but it seems to always come at the expense of leaving something else undone my family or my household needs. Motherhood lately seems to comprise less of diaper changing and feeding, and more of taxi-ing, phone calls, and constant interruptions. I'm not sure I like this increased busy-ness...it's so hard to make time to enjoy. I guess that's a hidden blessing of having another child is it forces you to feed and diaper change which ends up being a wonderful break from the hectic pace of life. If you would have told me this while in the thick of it with Bekah, I would never have believed it!
Later in May...studying more about curriculum and assessing learning styles. Fun side track trying to guess what Meiers Briggs code we each are! My best guess is Bekah is ENFP, but I think that might change as she gets older (Extrovert, intuiting, feeling, perceiving). Myself, INFJ (Introvert, intuiting, feeling, judging). I'm guessing Jason is ISTJ or ISTP (Introvert, sensing, thinking, and either judging or perceiving). Easy to see how Bekah is constantly feeling like life is boring since we're both introverts and she's not! It says a good occupation for Bekah's style is journalist--totally perfect fit! She loves to watch and listen for the news and has to know what's going to everyone everywhere! She loves getting the whole story. And she loves stories that really happened. She will love studying history!
Best introductory homeschooling book I've read so far: So You're Thinking About Homeschooling by Lisa Whelchel, former Fact of Life actress. Really easy read and helps introduce about 17 possible ways to homeschool. Totally makes you feel like you can find a method that works for you.
Piano lessons and summer job
I think in all these updating posts, I think I forgot to mention that I've started teaching piano lessons. Never thought I'd be one of those moms who works two jobs and still holds it together--I always thought I didn't have it in my to do all that and it seems like what supermoms do. But it is what it is. I was surprised to discover what the going rate for lessons out here is, so it makes it profitable in a third of the time it takes to clean a house! So at the end of March I began teaching one of Bekah's friends whose mom asked if I would teach. I also started teaching Bekah as well--wondered if teaching my own child would work, but since she's aware of someone else taking lessons and is at about the same level, it keeps her motivated to learn.
I'm finding I like teaching more than I thought I would. I've taught here and there, but never to do it for a regular paycheck. And I never liked the idea of forcing kids to practice when I know if that had happened to me I never would have liked the piano so much. But at the same time, I'm finding it wonderful to remember how excited I am about music and finding ways to inspire others to find that enjoyment.
So since it's summer now (Jason is done with his semester May 1st) I go back to working 3-4 days a week cleaning houses, and now piano lessons 1 day a week. (Thus the reason for almost no blogging or keeping up with friends since then. And just wait, it only gets crazier in September!) This gives Jason a sorely needed break from teaching, allow us to have an income with a flexible schedule so we can go to Utah for 4 weeks this summer, and frees up Jason's time to finish his office and the family room in the basement (originally for more play space, but now using it for homeschool mostly). I don't mind cleaning houses when you have clients you like to clean for, but these past two summers when you get random clients it's really hard to go to work. You never know what you're going to find. It might take 3 hours, it might take 6. You might be threatened by pets or overwhelmed by mold. It's not easy work. It's hard on my body. But it's worked out to be the best job for me right now as I know my weaknesses and limitations--needing a highly flexible schedule where I can leave the work day at work and not be tempted to be a workaholic. The occasional tips are nice too. :)
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
When I got home from work and taking Jason to the doctor and getting medicine, just in time for Bekah to get home from school, we tried to do something fun and spontaneous since Bekah was having a rough day. So we donned our bathing suits and turned the hose on in the front yard, only to be attacked by mosquitoes! They are extremely bad this year! Even the long-timers say it's bad. They come out in the day now, not just at night, and since we're behind on cutting our grass and haven't sprayed yet, they love our house. Poor Bekah. In 10 minutes we had about 10 bites between us. We had to stop. So to make up for it, we let the kids play in their suits in the bathtub with water guns and spray bottles. Almost as fun! They had a blast. We should do that more often. Except then JJ slipped and hit his head. Poor James.
Jason still has bronchitis and is trying some new medicine. I took the kids out of the house so he could sleep and we found a night light for James! Both kids love it! It's this cute white bear they named Fuzzy as soon as they saw it. It's a rechargeable animal you can carry around with you that runs on LED lights from Target. James has started not sleeping through the night because he's become scared of the dark, so we're hoping this will solve the problem. It's too much for me to deal with a sick husband and a toddler who won't sleep through the night anymore and work during the day all at the same time. This one night while Jason was gone on his trip, went to bed late because of homeschool research, slept for a half hour when JJ started screaming! He took an hour to fall back asleep, then awake again at his normal 7am. This happened both Fri and Sat night. Then Sunday night when I was trying to go to bed early (albeit 11pm) JJ woke up right then screaming and he'd only calm down if I stayed in the room so I ended up falling asleep in his chair until 1am. Finally got into my bed, only be woken up by Bekah who had a bad dream. Then JJ started crying again! I don't remember what happened after that, but I ended up averaging 4 hours of sleep each night Jason was gone! Sure taught me how hard single parenting is. So I'm hoping the night light helps James.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
It worked! JJ screamed for about 2 seconds and then it was silent. He put himself back to sleep! The night light, although not cheap, was worth every penny!
Ended up going to urgent care today because a bug bite I got on my hand while running in the hose started swelling up. Put me on antibiotic and dr also decided to give me a tetanus shot since I think I was 16 for the last one. That hurt worse than my thumb! And it made me feel exhausted. (Come to think of it--it was probably my crazy last several days that actually did it!) Ended up rescheduling work for another day.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Spent an HOUR on the phone with AT&T trying to fix our internet. (Had to be after 9pm since we're out of minutes this month again--luckily their call center is open late.) I'm sensing no savings of time due to technology lately. Sometimes it's so frustrating I almost don't want new things to be invented because I don't want to have to keep up--it's too expensive, takes too much time to learn or starts new habits I didn't have to learn about before.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Bekah and I are reading a kids biography of Abigail Adams, received from her nana for her birthday. Thank you! She loves hearing historical fiction stories.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
JJ went from communicating by noise (could say drink but always preferred making slurping noises instead, knew how to say 'dog' but made 'ruff, ruff' noises intead--that kind of thing--can we say auditory learner!), to very slowly using one word here and there, to fully blasting forward into sentences! And he's using I/me/you in correct form! I'm pretty sure he doesn't realize what he's saying but he copies us a lot. He learns new words every day. He loves big characters he can go hug, like Chuck E Cheese. (He would have LOVED Cosmo!) Favorite phrases right now are "I did it", " 'mon" for come on, "They're coming" for birds (not sure why he got into that), "outside", "lawnmower" sometimes calling it "mow mow", "miwt" or "milt" for milk, and "ug" for hug.
He used to communicate with us by having us ask him a list of questions or so to try to guess what he'd want since having a hard time verbalizing it. So we'd ask things like "diaper change?" JJ: "Nooow" or shake head no or act upset. "Change clothes?" JJ same reaction. "Eat...hungry?" Same. "Blanket?" If this is what he wanted he'd start forced laughing! And that's how you'd know you got it right! It almost sounded like 1/2 crying 1/2 laughing.
He says "Tant U, Wew com" together 'thank you, welcome'--he thinks they go together. He's said "I found it!", "I see it!", "Hold you", "Tee bee" for TV, "mote" for remote, and "Hew-whoa" to mean phone or hello. When he wants Jason to get up out of the rocking chair so mom can rock him to sleep or read stories, while Jason is still holding him, James will grab Jason's shoulder, pull up, and say "Moof!"...which means "out of the chair, I'm done with you, mom's turn to sit in the chair". Hilarious!
His favorite books are A Truck Goes Rattley Bumpa by Jonathan London, "eb-ry-fin" means A Purpose for Everything or A Place for Everything, series by Larry Stewart (love these!)
Went to Chuck E Cheese this afternoon as a family. They added Guitar Hero--my new favorite game! Maybe we should get a wii...
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Favorite moments today:
--Sitting with Bekah in pew during testimony time and being able to trust her to sit alone while I take care of my calling and bear my testimony (since Jason in the hall with JJ), and her helping me set up the hymn numbers up front before church
--JJ walking into nursery, fully decked in his newsie's cap and blazer, hair slightly over his ears, sandwich bag in hand for lunch, all by himself, no crying as I left.
--Pretending we're riding a train while in the car so JJ will stop being upset about not being on a real train (we pass one on the way to/from church), saying things like "the next stop will be..." pretending to be conductors and engineers, "now arriving..."
--family game time playing "mom says" or "dad says" (like simon says). When it was Bekah's turn to choose she said "the chicken dance!" Then Jason found the music for the bunny hop and we hopped around the house and into JJ's room for bed. Totally funny memory I'll always remember, us all acting like chickens and bunnies!
--Papa pretending to be animals for JJ on the phone
--Bekah excited to play piano for me and listening and watching me play
--getting out Bekah's baby quilt and reading the secret message in the stitching
Wonderful day.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Got a bad headache on Saturday and it's still not gone. Pain at the base of my neck, stiffening my neck, throbbing in my throat, ear fullness, little bit of sinus pressure. Feels like a congestion headache but nose not stuffy. Maybe a reaction to spreading mulch on Saturday.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
What a weird day. Headache seemed better, so went to work. Bam--the headache came on hard and fast. I almost passed out from the pain and was almost crying, but I finished the house (in the fastest time ever amazingly), Jason picked me up (he had the car--good thing cause I was in too much pain to drive) and took me to urgent care. I told them it was the worst headache I'd ever had. It was. But that started a chain of events: an iv for pain meds and fluids, CAT scan and other tests, headache still there, so wanted me to go to the hospital for more tests, but since had the iv they were required to send me in an ambulance! So went to immediate care about 11:45am, waved goodbye to family thinking I'd see them in a hour, ended up at the hospital about 3-4pm, neurologist comes in at 5:30/6pm says I need to stay overnight for observation! She said it could be a sinus infection or migraine, but also could be meningitis or a small bleed because of my head injury in Jan. By the time my MRI was done it was 7:30 and JJ was really needing to get to sleep. So I never got to see my family again that day. My visiting teacher (bless her soul) brought me a bag Jason had packed, complete with Bekah's teddy bear and food to eat. So here I am with a 15in TV that's pretty far away up in the corner of the ceiling, a leaky faucet, and wall clock that ticks every 1/2 second when the second hand is from the 6 to the 2 (can you tell I was bored?), plus all the noise from the nurses station across from me with only a curtain between us. It was very difficult to sleep. But I guess no worse than being interrupted by scared kids all night--although I would have preferred that. :{ I miss my family.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
MRI results showed sinusitis. All this for just that! But how grateful I am it was only that. But didn't get released from hospital until 9pm!! The whole day was spent waiting for the neurologist to show up and look at the results. The int med dr and the ENT both said I could go about noon. At 6pm, neurologist shows up and ordered ANOTHER CT, this time with dye. By that time, I told Jason to come and bring kids hoping that would get me out of here faster, even though it was past JJ's bedtime at that point. The nurses gave the kids ice cream. What a day! At least Walgreens filled the Rx in 5 minutes! Obviously had to reschedule work for the next few days.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Substituted for organist in church today. Very humbling since I totally messed up and got all the sound buttons wrong. At least all my music callings have forced us to be early to church.
After church we watched home movies from Disneyland and JJ started calling Darth Vader "helmut". The kids were wanting dessert but we didn't have much and amazingly I had recently got some free martini glasses, I pulled those out and made yogurt parfaits with crushed cornflakes on top (since we were out of granola) and the kids loved it! Maybe a new family tradition. James thought the glasses were candles except you got to eat them.
Tonight Bekah was listing all the things she loves:
"1. Heavenly Father & Jesus the same. 2. Then my family. 3. Next is my relatives all the way until the end. 4. Then my blankies."
She's decided since Jason still has his baby blanket (used as a pillow) that she "will sleep with my blankie when I'm an adult too, since daddy is my relative and we are connected."
Monday, June 14, 2010
Bekah lost a tooth tonight without even knowing it! She wrote a note to the tooth fairy after Jason pointed out she was missing a tooth (we think lost while brushing teeth), luckily the tooth fairy wrote back the she found it in the drain as she's always looking for lost teeth and gave her a $1. The P.S. part said "Thanks for cleaning your room so I can move around easier." Hopefully that will sink in.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Internet still not working! It worked for bit last time the tech came, but now it's been out for a few days. And now our TV doesn't work either. Kids were going nuts waiting in the house all day for the rep to show up, and once he did they couldn't watch TV or play in the living room so despite mosquitoes and the weather, I took the kids for a walk in the stroller to the school park across the street. It started raining and I didn't even care. So we swung on the swings and sang, in the rain which started drizzling and then very quickly started downpouring, so we ran home totally soaked, as Bekah says, "Those people in their cars are so lucky!" I was thinking not. What a memory.
Since Bekah's been out of school she's mellowed out some, is more helpful and patient, and her and JJ play longer together. JJ's vocabulary has increased tons--wonder if this is connected to hearing Bekah more. Homeschooling is looking better and better.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Lately I especially love being around Bekah. I already feel closer with learning new things together (we've started some history and science this summer) and she's become my shopping friend! It's so wonderful to feel us becoming friends.
Favorite memory: Bekah setting up Mommy's Beauty Shop and doing each other's hair. It doesn't seem that long ago that I was in Bekah's place doing exactly the same thing to my mom. Sometimes it's alarming how quick it feels that life comes full circle.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Went to the Crystal Lake beach as a family after dinner. James went up to his waist and chest in the water, no fear, before I had to pull him back some. He loves the water. Bekah's been nervous about swimming and getting in the water over her waist. But tonight she relaxed with Jason there and he was showing her some things about swimming.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Father's Day! I tried putting the pancake batter in a squeeze bottle and made Jason pancakes shaped like D-A-D. Luckily they are letters you can turn around since I didn't realize you need to pour them backwards if you want the even color on top. I was pretty proud of myself for being so creative. :)
JJ kept saying "Appy Faddaz Dey" today--even during sacrament meeting!
Today I found out my sister is expecting!!!! I am so excited for her! It felt good to be the big sister talking it through, something I never got to experience with my first pregnancy.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Bekah really wants a pet, so she's been pretending she has one. A while back she named her plastic Halloween spider "Spike" and set up a portable cage with things for him to do in it. She would ask JJ if he wanted to hold Spike and she would take him around the house. Then it was "Lucky" the plastic goldfish for a week or two. I don't know what happened to Spike, but today she came to dinner with Lucky's baby food jar aquarium except no Lucky. Now it's Sleeping Beauty's gold high heel (plastic) and it's Ricky the cricket! She said he needed air, water, a home and food--"and he eats other insects. I know it sounds gross but that's what they do!" She said she feeds him every day.
I asked her what happened to Lucky. She said he died. "I forgot to feed him." Love her imagination!
JJ's new words: "di-shun-er" for conditioner, "cup a wa-der"
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Cleaned a house. Wanted to be mad at how demanding they were for so little thanks. While cleaning, the question popped into my mind "Why would anyone be like this?" (angrily to myself), then suddenly in a different spirit, "Why would anyone be like this? What happened to make them like this?" And suddenly was able to clean their house without being angry. I felt feeling sorry for them and how unhappy they seemed. Glad I could be someone they feel they got their money's worth on and that I cared about doing the job right.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
My cousin and her family came to visit! It was so fun to stay up late talking to Nate and Julee. We all get a long so well, and Nate is also getting his PhD in English. So fun to entertain company. We are so missing our families.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Pretend it's May 2010
Continuing on with updating our records...
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Bekah was an angel today! She caught herself from tattling...
"James is ... oh I forgot to mind my own business."
And she remembered all her bedtime routine by herself! She found satisfaction in doing good and in obeying and she said I didn't make her feel embarrassed for it, even though I noticed and said thank you. I love her!
Lately any time I've been praising her she gets embarrassed, but if I don't praise her and she notices I praise James she feels hurt. When talking to my mom about it, she pointed out that maybe it's because I'm still praising her like she's a toddler--super excited high pitched "yea!"s and "I'm so proud of you"s--cause that's what I've always done, but maybe now it's time to think about praising her in her grown up way and in her "love language". (Later note: I'm excited to read "Five Love Languages of Children" that I got for Mother's Day!)
Praise is a funny thing...I remember feeling the same way when I was a child--so wanting to feel adored and loved and yearning for that approval, but anytime that attention came feeling embarrassed about it. It's a strange dichotomy. Almost like (in my teenage somewhat-rebellious times) I wanted nothing to do with anything my parents' (or any un-cool adult) wanted me to do, and yet still wanting them to be proud of me and feeling like the only way to get there was to do what they wanted. Like I wanted them to respect me for me, not because I was doing what I was "supposed to be doing just because I was supposed to". I'm rambling a little, but interesting thoughts.
I've always heard that if you want people to respect you, you show respect for them first. Maybe praising her like a 6-7 yr old deserves (or even like I would praise an adult) will help her feel more respected and like the praise is real and not fake or inflated. And that it's something she can be proud of.
When I was in elementary school, I loved my teachers and the homework (for the most part) and the projects and just going to school period. I loved that I got more attention at school for doing good work, I got to accomplish things that were done in a day or two so I felt productive, and I got to see friends. I got to feel in control of my life a little, away from parents and siblings. But this was not Jason's experience, nor has it been Bekah's this year. Jason is pretty good at looking at things and seeing right through what they mean, whether it's ideas or people. In public school, he says he seemed to be pretty aware of the why's and what was going on and could distinguish between what was busy work and what was really relevant to him to learn. (Hope I am remembering this conversation somewhat correctly! Or that it's at least in the same spirit of things.) So if someone like this couldn't see the point of why they needed to learn a concept or do the homework, they stopped caring about doing it. And if they were required to do it, they may have felt no satisfaction in doing it because it didn't feel productive. So it was done as fast as possible or late or maybe not at all. And if too much of this happened day after day, they might decide all school is not productive and you go just because you have to and you don't really care about learning something while you're there. Some teachers might see this as underachieving, and it certainly is easy to label it as this. But with just a little individualized time together at the right time a teacher could make life applications in math or science or language arts and possibly open a child's mind to why they should care about it. And suddenly you have a student whose excited about learning and will learn it as fast as they can! You no longer have an average or below average student who might be causing "disruptions" in the classroom because they are bored or don't see the point or never feel self-satisfied with the work they're completing. Yet the answer doesn't lie in moving them up a grade to "challenge" them more, with more of the same busy work (according to the child's viewpoint). The answer could possibly lie in just needing a little more individualized attention and time in an area they are interested in.
So this goes back to praise and feeling good about the work you do. For some, it's enough to do it just because you're supposed to and you feel like you got something done, and you may almost blindly go along with it because you trust that teachers or your elders know what they're doing and the payback will eventually reward you. For others, you don't feel good about yourself because what you're doing doesn't enrich you or others and you question what it's all about. These thoughts never occurred to me before talking about this with Jason. And these thoughts have opened my mind to a whole new reality and possibility of what Bekah's future education may need to be in the next few years.
In primary at church, Bekah is so engaged and fully participates and feels fulfilled. She comes home excited about what she's learned and there are constant compliments from others who witness her exuberance! I want her to love learning at least some subjects at school just as much as she loves learning about God and her place in His plan.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Jason has been so sick off and on. Keeps getting a bad cough and cold, yet is supposed to be finishing final papers and administering finals for his students, both here at MCC and downtown at UIC. It's so hard to stop pushing yourself when you can see you only two or three more days before resting would be convenient. (Two days later I took him to the doctor and he had bronchitis and a back sprain.)
We asked our hometeacher to come mow our lawn today since Jason needs to rest. I was proud of myself that I got the tulip bulbs uprooted in tact (for the most part) so he could mow that section of grass, and I got 6 leaf piles bagged or out of the way. I worked along side the kids for some of it so we got to talk. Bekah was telling me things she talks about with the kids at recess. She told me a joke she learned.
Q: How do you make Lady Gaga cry?
A: Poke-her face.
I laughed so hard!! It was a totally funny joke! Over dinner, Bekah told the joke to Jason, and I can't remember the last time I've seen him laugh so hard! It made Bekah feel so good.
Yet at the same time I was wondering inside, what else are you learning on the playground? Do I want my first grader thinking Lady Gaga is cool to listen to right now?
Friday, May 7, 2010
Cleaned bathroom, showered, made ice cream cake, decorated living room and hall with sings, streamers, and balloons, decluttered and dusted
all by noon
when Bekah and her friend Kyla came home from the half-day at school for Bekah's birthday party.
They played. We ate cookie cutter sandwiches for lunch. Then we went to Monkey Joes while listening to monkey music in the car, getting monkey stickers, and wearing monkey socks. When they started getting bored of Monkey Joes (a bounce house place), we started playing hide 'n go seek and pretend movies. Then we got Pizza Hut, did presents, cake and played.
A few months ago, Bekah came home from school saying "Kyla's my BFF!" Jason and I had to ask "What did you just say?" We can't believe the texting/IM language is already filtering down to first graders!
Thinking more about homeschooling and my experience with BFA for high school. My mom pointed out to me (and I never even realized this!) that the same year Russ and I started BFA (meaning we only had 3 half-days of school a week so we'd be home more and our mom would have to oversee our studies a lot more) was the year my mom would have finally had all four kids in all-day school. That was a sacrifice for her.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Stake Women's Conference--
"I know that God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He wouldn't trust me so much." --Mother Theresa
"Women are angels, and when someone breaks our wings we simply continue to fly. Sometimes on a broomstick. We are flexible that way!"--email circulating
"If your kids are fighting, they're bored."--Lois Jean Spencer's mom
"We hear a lot of 'ought to's. Pick one or two up and try them."--Bishop Burton
Unlikely Truths of Motherhood by Katie Van Dyke. Creator of Mother's Day fought to establish it, then afterwards, was saddened because felt it contributed to women feeling entitled. "Expectations are a reservation for resentment."
Don't sign up at the resentment hotel.
One year her husband forgot her birthday and it was just her and the kids, husband out of town, so she decided to throw her own birthday party and made invitations for each kid. Talked it up, made cupcakes together, and had the best birthday ever.
I always heard growing up that you need to surround yourself with good friends and good things so you can be strong enough to make good choices. To prepare for that end goal of marriage and family. And I thought about how to do this in my own for my own children growing up now. But until today I never thought about how I still need to surround myself with good things in that same way. Things that remind me that motherhood is important and noble and a privilege. In the home. In the car. On my ipod. Things that build up motherhood and womanhood. Then I'll have more strength and power to have patience and be the best wife and mother I can be. And then it will be so much more evident to my children that this is important. So maybe I'll make up some "mormon ads" for motherhood. We'll see.
*********
It's 12:11am. I'm so tired. I am feeling like nothing I do ever gets finished or even better. No matter how much I organize or declutter or put away, more stuff or the same stuff goes back in those same places. It makes me feel like it's out of my control and there's nothing I can do about it! It makes me want to scream sometimes!
I almost cried when Bekah asked if I could lay down with her for a minute or two with the lights out at bedtime. I probably should have...but I'm so tired. I'd fall asleep and then I wouldn't have got the sweeping, mopping, wiping counters, washing dishes done just so I can have some sense of peace and order for Sunday (and Mother's Day). I hope she saw that her mom loves her but sometimes she can't do everything and needs help. and needs her to do things herself. It's a hard thing to learn. But it helps us mature and grow up.
So here is what I did get done today so I can see it and feel better:
-went to stake women's conference (gone from 8am to 3pm)
-sang "In Perfect Faith" at Mark's baptism, and got lots of really nice compliments about it
-gave JJ a bath
-vacuumed almost the whole house
-watched Bekah open the rest of her presents that Jason had wrapped while we were at the baptism
-dropped off dry cleaning" of Jason whose not feeling better yet but still took care of kids all day so I could go
-took out trash and recyclables
-put away my pile of clothes that were by the bed
-loaded dishwasher
-wiped stove and counter and table down
-swept and mopped tile floor
That's more than I usually get done in two days, and I only had about half a day.
I guess sometimes I get down thought because most of that stuff has to get done again. Not that I don't want to do it again but that having to do it again means yet again no time to go through the other projects or piles of stuff that needs homes so our home can feel free and a place where we want to be. WE NEED LESS STUFF! But I don't know what to get rid of (nor do I have time to sort through it!). It's so frustrating.
I need to get some sleep. I always feel better in the morning.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Jason gave me U2 tickets!!! Or at least a print out saying he would buy them if I wanted to go. Now I feel guilty, though, because they're expensive.
Jason made risotto for dinner. So good!
Monday, May 10, 2010
Bekah's birthday!
My birthday!
Not sure why but this year especially feeling like it's getting old having to share birthdays. But it is what it is.
Jason made us a wonderful breakfast! Bekah went to school, I had lunch with my friend (whose birthday it was also!), then I had lunch with Bekah at school, took cupcakes to Bekah's class, and cake and presents. Jason made me a 10-12 inch high ice cream cake! He made a layer for each type of candy I like. Wow!
Then Bekah and I took our "Dinner Impossible" trip Jason gave Bekah on Saturday to ride the train to Arlington Heights and eat at California Pizza Kitchen.
Thurs, May 13, 2010
So much rain our basement and small part of our roof flooded today!
McMullins end up having to move to San Fran for the summer and want to give us their U2 tickets as payback for watching over their house! Wow! I've been wanting to go to U2 since I was 16 and now I can not feel guilty about going! It's July 6th. I can't wait!
Bekah's open house was tonight. She loved showing us her art projects on display, her classroom and her book she published at the publishing center. It was dedicated to cousin Kaylee.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Bekah's well child doctor visit today:
51 lbs, 4 ft 1.5 inches.
On the way home (it was just the two of us) we talked about the possibility of homeschooling next year. Bekah was so excited about it! She kept coming up with ideas about how to learn things and how to make it fun. It was wonderful to see her enthusiasm and made me lose all doubt that we could do this.
Later that night we got nice chocolates, and as we ate one, Bekah said:
"Oh...mmm...how much do these cost?" (with mouth full of chocolates)
Mom: "About $3."
Bekah: "Remind me next time I have $3 to buy some of these!"
Saturday, May 15, 2010
So for my birthday Jason said I could buy a new vacuum (I could hardly vacuum with the one we had...it wasn't worth it much since the dust it kicked back just made the room more dirty!). With cleaning houses, I have fallen in love with the Dyson vacuums, but they are spendy. We thought long and hard and today I found one at Costco with a big rebate! So Jason said get it! I love it! I actually look for excuses to vacuum! It feels good to clean with it because I know it's cleaning so much better.
Bekah thinks I'm weird that I wanted a vacuum for my birthday. "Mom, that's not fun." Well, I guess that's what happens when you get old and become a mom. Or is it become a mom and get old. :)
Jason and I went out for dinner with our good friends tonight. We have NEVER gotten a babysitter where we just left and let go of the worry and just come home when we feel like it. But this babysitter was college age, totally trustworthy, and didn't have to be home by a certain time. So nice to really enjoy ourselves. It was a good long double date and we were with really fun people. We can't wait to do it again sometime.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Bekah and I toured and observed HEART today, a homeschool program in Barrington that our friends go to. HEART stands for Homeschool Enrichment Achieved Respectfully Together. Every Thursday during the school year from 8:30-3:30. Very wonderful feeling there. Very Christian based. We'll see if it works out if we do decide to homeschool.
Bekah's eye doctor visit today. Left eye a little farsighted and has slight astigmatism, but not enough to need glasses yet. The doctor praised Bekah for telling the truth and not lying to try to get glasses like some kids her age do. We are proud of her for doing so, even though she does really want glasses.
Friday, May 21, 2010
We think JJ is starting to get scared of the dark. He stopped sleeping through the night like he has been. Keeps crying real cries and saying "dahk dahk" when we come in. We need to find a night light for him to see if that helps.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Went to the Kohl's Children's Museum today. JJ's favorite area was the cars, car wash and tools section. Bekah's favorite was the grocery store and water area. Good memories.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Thought more about homeschool today. Maybe it will only be for one year. I can't turn back the clock if I choose not to--I might regret not trying it. But if it doesn't work, she won't be behind. She's so smart, she catches on quickly. I only see regrets if I don't try it.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Been cleaning houses about 3 days a week this month. Today I cleaned two houses. Jason made lettuce wraps for dinner! Yum!
When you work all day and come home and see everything fine without you, you begin to think you didn't miss out on anything and that you still know how everything is. It's a slow process if you work full-time as a mom--to where you think this is working out to be gone all day. "I can still be a good mom" but you don't see what you're missing and you get out of the loop without even realizing it. You don't notice their new habits or how much TV they've had or snacks they've had, or new words they've said or things they've learned. You don't have that ability to oversee the whole picture to make better decisions for tomorrow or right now. You don't see how important it is to be there when the kids are there unless you do it and see it. I have to remember this. It makes me realize more what it's like for husbands who are gone all day and need to be brought back into the loop so they don't feel left out of things.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Saddest news today. U2 concert was postponed until next year! Bono had to have back surgery. Was really looking forward to going.
Played at the park as a family after dinner. Bekah decided to go across the high monkey bars all by herself. She really worked to complete her goal! She didn't give up! She didn't make it all the way across but her progress was amazing in such a short time. And she felt really good about herself. Really good. Instead of saying "Good job. That's so awesome!" I realized I should point out how good she feels so she can start working on finding more satisfaction within herself. "Doesn't that make you feel so good to do that? Look how far you made it! That feels so good." I should realize more times when I can do this for her.
These are my favorites times together as a family. Playing at the park, doing things together and enjoying each other's company. Time seems to stand still. Feels like magic.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
JJ is walking around saying "I did it!" "I made it!". It's so cute! What's amazing is he isn't getting the you/I mixed up since we say "You did it!" back to him! I think he's learned it from Eric Carle's book From Head to Toe and from us cheering him to eat his dinner.
What's funny today is he did things he wasn't supposed to do and then cheered for himself and said "I did it!"
At least he's starting off with good self-esteem and confidence.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Jason left for his conference in Minneapolis on Friday, and James got pink eye Saturday. Great timing. We had to stay home from church and hibernate in the house for a few days. We had borrowed our friend's car since Jason took the van to the conference. We so couldn't go back to a car. I know I hit my head a few times trying to get them into the car seats.
Today it thunderstormed just before the parade was to begin. Bekah was so let down.
When Jason got back, Bekah and I went to Chuck E Cheese for some fun. Nice to be just the two of us.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Bekah was an angel today! She caught herself from tattling...
"James is ... oh I forgot to mind my own business."
And she remembered all her bedtime routine by herself! She found satisfaction in doing good and in obeying and she said I didn't make her feel embarrassed for it, even though I noticed and said thank you. I love her!
Lately any time I've been praising her she gets embarrassed, but if I don't praise her and she notices I praise James she feels hurt. When talking to my mom about it, she pointed out that maybe it's because I'm still praising her like she's a toddler--super excited high pitched "yea!"s and "I'm so proud of you"s--cause that's what I've always done, but maybe now it's time to think about praising her in her grown up way and in her "love language". (Later note: I'm excited to read "Five Love Languages of Children" that I got for Mother's Day!)
Praise is a funny thing...I remember feeling the same way when I was a child--so wanting to feel adored and loved and yearning for that approval, but anytime that attention came feeling embarrassed about it. It's a strange dichotomy. Almost like (in my teenage somewhat-rebellious times) I wanted nothing to do with anything my parents' (or any un-cool adult) wanted me to do, and yet still wanting them to be proud of me and feeling like the only way to get there was to do what they wanted. Like I wanted them to respect me for me, not because I was doing what I was "supposed to be doing just because I was supposed to". I'm rambling a little, but interesting thoughts.
I've always heard that if you want people to respect you, you show respect for them first. Maybe praising her like a 6-7 yr old deserves (or even like I would praise an adult) will help her feel more respected and like the praise is real and not fake or inflated. And that it's something she can be proud of.
When I was in elementary school, I loved my teachers and the homework (for the most part) and the projects and just going to school period. I loved that I got more attention at school for doing good work, I got to accomplish things that were done in a day or two so I felt productive, and I got to see friends. I got to feel in control of my life a little, away from parents and siblings. But this was not Jason's experience, nor has it been Bekah's this year. Jason is pretty good at looking at things and seeing right through what they mean, whether it's ideas or people. In public school, he says he seemed to be pretty aware of the why's and what was going on and could distinguish between what was busy work and what was really relevant to him to learn. (Hope I am remembering this conversation somewhat correctly! Or that it's at least in the same spirit of things.) So if someone like this couldn't see the point of why they needed to learn a concept or do the homework, they stopped caring about doing it. And if they were required to do it, they may have felt no satisfaction in doing it because it didn't feel productive. So it was done as fast as possible or late or maybe not at all. And if too much of this happened day after day, they might decide all school is not productive and you go just because you have to and you don't really care about learning something while you're there. Some teachers might see this as underachieving, and it certainly is easy to label it as this. But with just a little individualized time together at the right time a teacher could make life applications in math or science or language arts and possibly open a child's mind to why they should care about it. And suddenly you have a student whose excited about learning and will learn it as fast as they can! You no longer have an average or below average student who might be causing "disruptions" in the classroom because they are bored or don't see the point or never feel self-satisfied with the work they're completing. Yet the answer doesn't lie in moving them up a grade to "challenge" them more, with more of the same busy work (according to the child's viewpoint). The answer could possibly lie in just needing a little more individualized attention and time in an area they are interested in.
So this goes back to praise and feeling good about the work you do. For some, it's enough to do it just because you're supposed to and you feel like you got something done, and you may almost blindly go along with it because you trust that teachers or your elders know what they're doing and the payback will eventually reward you. For others, you don't feel good about yourself because what you're doing doesn't enrich you or others and you question what it's all about. These thoughts never occurred to me before talking about this with Jason. And these thoughts have opened my mind to a whole new reality and possibility of what Bekah's future education may need to be in the next few years.
In primary at church, Bekah is so engaged and fully participates and feels fulfilled. She comes home excited about what she's learned and there are constant compliments from others who witness her exuberance! I want her to love learning at least some subjects at school just as much as she loves learning about God and her place in His plan.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Jason has been so sick off and on. Keeps getting a bad cough and cold, yet is supposed to be finishing final papers and administering finals for his students, both here at MCC and downtown at UIC. It's so hard to stop pushing yourself when you can see you only two or three more days before resting would be convenient. (Two days later I took him to the doctor and he had bronchitis and a back sprain.)
We asked our hometeacher to come mow our lawn today since Jason needs to rest. I was proud of myself that I got the tulip bulbs uprooted in tact (for the most part) so he could mow that section of grass, and I got 6 leaf piles bagged or out of the way. I worked along side the kids for some of it so we got to talk. Bekah was telling me things she talks about with the kids at recess. She told me a joke she learned.
Q: How do you make Lady Gaga cry?
A: Poke-her face.
I laughed so hard!! It was a totally funny joke! Over dinner, Bekah told the joke to Jason, and I can't remember the last time I've seen him laugh so hard! It made Bekah feel so good.
Yet at the same time I was wondering inside, what else are you learning on the playground? Do I want my first grader thinking Lady Gaga is cool to listen to right now?
Friday, May 7, 2010
Cleaned bathroom, showered, made ice cream cake, decorated living room and hall with sings, streamers, and balloons, decluttered and dusted
all by noon
when Bekah and her friend Kyla came home from the half-day at school for Bekah's birthday party.
They played. We ate cookie cutter sandwiches for lunch. Then we went to Monkey Joes while listening to monkey music in the car, getting monkey stickers, and wearing monkey socks. When they started getting bored of Monkey Joes (a bounce house place), we started playing hide 'n go seek and pretend movies. Then we got Pizza Hut, did presents, cake and played.
A few months ago, Bekah came home from school saying "Kyla's my BFF!" Jason and I had to ask "What did you just say?" We can't believe the texting/IM language is already filtering down to first graders!
Thinking more about homeschooling and my experience with BFA for high school. My mom pointed out to me (and I never even realized this!) that the same year Russ and I started BFA (meaning we only had 3 half-days of school a week so we'd be home more and our mom would have to oversee our studies a lot more) was the year my mom would have finally had all four kids in all-day school. That was a sacrifice for her.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Stake Women's Conference--
"I know that God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He wouldn't trust me so much." --Mother Theresa
"Women are angels, and when someone breaks our wings we simply continue to fly. Sometimes on a broomstick. We are flexible that way!"--email circulating
"If your kids are fighting, they're bored."--Lois Jean Spencer's mom
"We hear a lot of 'ought to's. Pick one or two up and try them."--Bishop Burton
Unlikely Truths of Motherhood by Katie Van Dyke. Creator of Mother's Day fought to establish it, then afterwards, was saddened because felt it contributed to women feeling entitled. "Expectations are a reservation for resentment."
Don't sign up at the resentment hotel.
One year her husband forgot her birthday and it was just her and the kids, husband out of town, so she decided to throw her own birthday party and made invitations for each kid. Talked it up, made cupcakes together, and had the best birthday ever.
I always heard growing up that you need to surround yourself with good friends and good things so you can be strong enough to make good choices. To prepare for that end goal of marriage and family. And I thought about how to do this in my own for my own children growing up now. But until today I never thought about how I still need to surround myself with good things in that same way. Things that remind me that motherhood is important and noble and a privilege. In the home. In the car. On my ipod. Things that build up motherhood and womanhood. Then I'll have more strength and power to have patience and be the best wife and mother I can be. And then it will be so much more evident to my children that this is important. So maybe I'll make up some "mormon ads" for motherhood. We'll see.
*********
It's 12:11am. I'm so tired. I am feeling like nothing I do ever gets finished or even better. No matter how much I organize or declutter or put away, more stuff or the same stuff goes back in those same places. It makes me feel like it's out of my control and there's nothing I can do about it! It makes me want to scream sometimes!
I almost cried when Bekah asked if I could lay down with her for a minute or two with the lights out at bedtime. I probably should have...but I'm so tired. I'd fall asleep and then I wouldn't have got the sweeping, mopping, wiping counters, washing dishes done just so I can have some sense of peace and order for Sunday (and Mother's Day). I hope she saw that her mom loves her but sometimes she can't do everything and needs help. and needs her to do things herself. It's a hard thing to learn. But it helps us mature and grow up.
So here is what I did get done today so I can see it and feel better:
-went to stake women's conference (gone from 8am to 3pm)
-sang "In Perfect Faith" at Mark's baptism, and got lots of really nice compliments about it
-gave JJ a bath
-vacuumed almost the whole house
-watched Bekah open the rest of her presents that Jason had wrapped while we were at the baptism
-dropped off dry cleaning" of Jason whose not feeling better yet but still took care of kids all day so I could go
-took out trash and recyclables
-put away my pile of clothes that were by the bed
-loaded dishwasher
-wiped stove and counter and table down
-swept and mopped tile floor
That's more than I usually get done in two days, and I only had about half a day.
I guess sometimes I get down thought because most of that stuff has to get done again. Not that I don't want to do it again but that having to do it again means yet again no time to go through the other projects or piles of stuff that needs homes so our home can feel free and a place where we want to be. WE NEED LESS STUFF! But I don't know what to get rid of (nor do I have time to sort through it!). It's so frustrating.
I need to get some sleep. I always feel better in the morning.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Jason gave me U2 tickets!!! Or at least a print out saying he would buy them if I wanted to go. Now I feel guilty, though, because they're expensive.
Jason made risotto for dinner. So good!
Monday, May 10, 2010
Bekah's birthday!
My birthday!
Not sure why but this year especially feeling like it's getting old having to share birthdays. But it is what it is.
Jason made us a wonderful breakfast! Bekah went to school, I had lunch with my friend (whose birthday it was also!), then I had lunch with Bekah at school, took cupcakes to Bekah's class, and cake and presents. Jason made me a 10-12 inch high ice cream cake! He made a layer for each type of candy I like. Wow!
Then Bekah and I took our "Dinner Impossible" trip Jason gave Bekah on Saturday to ride the train to Arlington Heights and eat at California Pizza Kitchen.
Thurs, May 13, 2010
So much rain our basement and small part of our roof flooded today!
McMullins end up having to move to San Fran for the summer and want to give us their U2 tickets as payback for watching over their house! Wow! I've been wanting to go to U2 since I was 16 and now I can not feel guilty about going! It's July 6th. I can't wait!
Bekah's open house was tonight. She loved showing us her art projects on display, her classroom and her book she published at the publishing center. It was dedicated to cousin Kaylee.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Bekah's well child doctor visit today:
51 lbs, 4 ft 1.5 inches.
On the way home (it was just the two of us) we talked about the possibility of homeschooling next year. Bekah was so excited about it! She kept coming up with ideas about how to learn things and how to make it fun. It was wonderful to see her enthusiasm and made me lose all doubt that we could do this.
Later that night we got nice chocolates, and as we ate one, Bekah said:
"Oh...mmm...how much do these cost?" (with mouth full of chocolates)
Mom: "About $3."
Bekah: "Remind me next time I have $3 to buy some of these!"
Saturday, May 15, 2010
So for my birthday Jason said I could buy a new vacuum (I could hardly vacuum with the one we had...it wasn't worth it much since the dust it kicked back just made the room more dirty!). With cleaning houses, I have fallen in love with the Dyson vacuums, but they are spendy. We thought long and hard and today I found one at Costco with a big rebate! So Jason said get it! I love it! I actually look for excuses to vacuum! It feels good to clean with it because I know it's cleaning so much better.
Bekah thinks I'm weird that I wanted a vacuum for my birthday. "Mom, that's not fun." Well, I guess that's what happens when you get old and become a mom. Or is it become a mom and get old. :)
Jason and I went out for dinner with our good friends tonight. We have NEVER gotten a babysitter where we just left and let go of the worry and just come home when we feel like it. But this babysitter was college age, totally trustworthy, and didn't have to be home by a certain time. So nice to really enjoy ourselves. It was a good long double date and we were with really fun people. We can't wait to do it again sometime.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Bekah and I toured and observed HEART today, a homeschool program in Barrington that our friends go to. HEART stands for Homeschool Enrichment Achieved Respectfully Together. Every Thursday during the school year from 8:30-3:30. Very wonderful feeling there. Very Christian based. We'll see if it works out if we do decide to homeschool.
Bekah's eye doctor visit today. Left eye a little farsighted and has slight astigmatism, but not enough to need glasses yet. The doctor praised Bekah for telling the truth and not lying to try to get glasses like some kids her age do. We are proud of her for doing so, even though she does really want glasses.
Friday, May 21, 2010
We think JJ is starting to get scared of the dark. He stopped sleeping through the night like he has been. Keeps crying real cries and saying "dahk dahk" when we come in. We need to find a night light for him to see if that helps.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Went to the Kohl's Children's Museum today. JJ's favorite area was the cars, car wash and tools section. Bekah's favorite was the grocery store and water area. Good memories.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Thought more about homeschool today. Maybe it will only be for one year. I can't turn back the clock if I choose not to--I might regret not trying it. But if it doesn't work, she won't be behind. She's so smart, she catches on quickly. I only see regrets if I don't try it.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Been cleaning houses about 3 days a week this month. Today I cleaned two houses. Jason made lettuce wraps for dinner! Yum!
When you work all day and come home and see everything fine without you, you begin to think you didn't miss out on anything and that you still know how everything is. It's a slow process if you work full-time as a mom--to where you think this is working out to be gone all day. "I can still be a good mom" but you don't see what you're missing and you get out of the loop without even realizing it. You don't notice their new habits or how much TV they've had or snacks they've had, or new words they've said or things they've learned. You don't have that ability to oversee the whole picture to make better decisions for tomorrow or right now. You don't see how important it is to be there when the kids are there unless you do it and see it. I have to remember this. It makes me realize more what it's like for husbands who are gone all day and need to be brought back into the loop so they don't feel left out of things.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Saddest news today. U2 concert was postponed until next year! Bono had to have back surgery. Was really looking forward to going.
Played at the park as a family after dinner. Bekah decided to go across the high monkey bars all by herself. She really worked to complete her goal! She didn't give up! She didn't make it all the way across but her progress was amazing in such a short time. And she felt really good about herself. Really good. Instead of saying "Good job. That's so awesome!" I realized I should point out how good she feels so she can start working on finding more satisfaction within herself. "Doesn't that make you feel so good to do that? Look how far you made it! That feels so good." I should realize more times when I can do this for her.
These are my favorites times together as a family. Playing at the park, doing things together and enjoying each other's company. Time seems to stand still. Feels like magic.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
JJ is walking around saying "I did it!" "I made it!". It's so cute! What's amazing is he isn't getting the you/I mixed up since we say "You did it!" back to him! I think he's learned it from Eric Carle's book From Head to Toe and from us cheering him to eat his dinner.
What's funny today is he did things he wasn't supposed to do and then cheered for himself and said "I did it!"
At least he's starting off with good self-esteem and confidence.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Jason left for his conference in Minneapolis on Friday, and James got pink eye Saturday. Great timing. We had to stay home from church and hibernate in the house for a few days. We had borrowed our friend's car since Jason took the van to the conference. We so couldn't go back to a car. I know I hit my head a few times trying to get them into the car seats.
Today it thunderstormed just before the parade was to begin. Bekah was so let down.
When Jason got back, Bekah and I went to Chuck E Cheese for some fun. Nice to be just the two of us.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Pretend it's April 2010
So for various reasons, many of which had to do with internet access being VERY sketchy for a while, I ended up going back to a written journal. And still I haven't stopped. I still love the idea of blogging, but I've found barriers to it.
1-Blogging involves the internet, and invariably I get distracted on the internet so it takes longer to blog than I have time for. I keep remembering things I was supposed to pay for online, or research online, or emails that have to get sent for church callings or other reasons...
2-I am a pretty decent typer. I can type fast. That's a good thing, and actually one of my reasons for blogging in the first place. But I've learned I can type so fast I don't have time to form my sentences before writing (or at least I don't take the time to do so), whereas with hand writing entries I can think about that while I write and say what I mean. And by virtue of the fact that my hand gets more tired I think I learn to be more brief (at least more brief than I would have been online).
3-You can edit what you write on a blog. This is too tempting to ignore for me. I can pour over a post for 30-60 minutes just making sure I said everything I was thinking and that I said it in a good way. Hand writing entries for the most part can't be edited easily so somehow I just turn off my brain to change what I write and just might rephrase it if needed, but I usually just write and don't read it over to remember what I said...again because I write it more slowly I think I remember it more as I'm writing more.
4-Blogging involves technology--like computers that either are being slow, or aren't working, or everyone wants to use at the same time. I can go anywhere with my journal and not have to worry about a strong internet connection or having children pull on my arms because they want to be on the computer too.
I didn't expect to post on the downsides to blogging...
But it explains why I haven't been writing.
So for my own family's sake (those both here and far away), I'm going back to April 2010 and going to do my best to highlight what's been happening.
April 9, 2010--Friday
I've discovered I love pruning--maybe not at the correct time of year, but I loved pruning our trees and bushes after the green leaves started coming out and the blossoms forming. It was easy to see what was dead and it felt good to do something outside in the sun, and you can see your progress. Purging things you don't need always makes it easier to breathe for me, and pruning seems sort of like that. It's sure easier than tackling the 'pruning' that needs to happen inside the house or inside myself. Couple that with the fact that you and your kids have been cooped up in the house for the winter and now we can spread out and not scream because we don't all want the same toy anymore because we're busy exploring--and you have a recipe for enjoying the moment.
April 10, 2010--Saturday
Dates: No matter how much your children protest you not only have to go on dates with your spouse, you need to tell your children that's where you are going and why you need them to go to bed on time. It shows them...
-your excited to be with your spouse
-he is important to you
-you make time for him just like you do for them
-it makes it even more respected by them (in the long run) and by you
'Home' dates are so much more real and actually work when you tell everyone that's what's happening ahead of time. You may not do anything new, but the name and expectation makes it more fulfilling and satisfying.
Even if it seems cheesy to call it a date. Even if your kids whine and complain and makes them try to stay up later. Even if it's easier to not let them know so they don't know what they're missing and they don't put up a fight. If that's what it takes to get you to respect your spouse and date night, then do it. And just by virtue of you respecting it, your children will learn and feel safe that their mom loves their dad and wants to be with him. And that feels good.
What's that quote? The greatest thing a husband (or wife) can do for their children is to love their mother (or father).
(Side note for Sept 2010: I'm definitely still working on this...summer plans and activities seem to throw schedules out the window and I'm still recovering!)
April 11, 2010--Sunday
(Sept 2010--I'm not going to each day, I promise!)
Jason's birthday! I was reflecting on birthdays in general, particularly feeling not great about remembering that I'm getting older each May 10th and somehow realized these things:
The older you get the more birthdays you can see so it's seems it's not worth celebrating cause it's just another year and you've had so many (I know some will laugh at this who are much wiser in years than I!). But tonight I learned something about giving. Birthdays are a chance for others to learn about the joy of giving. Do your children see you excited about giving? Do they know how to treat a gift with care and how to show you care about how it's given?
This led to this chain of thoughts:
We're born into this world.
Our parents are our entire world. (1)
Then parents are just part of our world (like when starting school). (2)
Then we don't want them to be a part of our world. (3)
They aren't part of our world. (4)
Soon we miss them being part of our world (5)
many times because we became parents too (6)
And realize how much a part of our world our parents are and have always been. (7)
Then, as we realize they are gone, they become our entire world. (8)
Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could somehow stay in lines 1 and 8? This is a cycle of parenthood.
Sept 2010--more thoughts--The end result is the same as when we're born, but look how much now we've chosen it and are aware of it and feel it. So much to do with why our Heavenly Father needed to send us away for a while. Where am I on this chain with God? He was my entire world before I came to this earth. And He will be my entire world when I return to Him. So am I continuing on this chain? Do I appreciate Him as much as I should?
Had ward conference today and Bekah sang in church with the Marcucci girls part of "Jesus Once Was a Little Child". She was very nervous, but did wonderful! They sang the first part of the song and then the ward choir came in singing "I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus". At the end of that, they all sing together
So little children, let's you and I,
Try to be like him,
Try, try, try.
I'm trying to be like him.
Very moving.
Pres. Labrum's talk that day: God doesn't require us to be moving at the same speed. He only cares that we're moving.
So let's you and I, try, try, try.
April 13, 2010--Tuesday
Read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman in one day! Highly recommended for strengthening marriage.
April 16, 2010--Friday
Had to get a new washing machine, and I LOVE it! We brought the netbook with Muppet Babies episodes for the kids to watch in the shopping cart so Jason and I could really talk about what we're doing instead of refereeing the whole time. It was so nice to be able to shop together and make big decisions like that without anyone fighting or complaining! Isn't technology amazing! Then we had pre-dinner with shakes at Jamba Juice.
Funny saying by Bekah:
Jason likes to tease when we say one thing and it can mean another. And today is was getting frustrating to Bekah. She was talking about school library day and the books they were reading.
Bekah said "We were reading 'If You Give a Pig a Pancake'..."
Jason interjected "What? You ate pig pancakes?!"
B: "No! If You Give a Pig a Pancake!"
J: "What? You fed pancakes to pigs!"
B: (this is getting upset and mad at dad...but dad was only trying to joke and tease to make her smile)
(this is me talking for about 3-4 minutes about why dad does this and that he's only doing it in fun...he does understand you)
A couple minutes later...
Bekah says, "So today we read this book about a dad. He has this daughter. And he teases her a lot."
We busted up laughing!! So fun to hear her get it and to try to get back in fun.
April 17, 2010--Saturday
Fav things about today:
-Jason putting up our new mailbox!
-watching Bekah and JJ build a castle out of diaper boxes and blankets.
-JJ's random hugs to Bekah (oh and he started saying Bekah correctly last Sunday! Bekah was so happy she was literally speechless!)
-We got blizzards together!
April 22, 2010--Thursday
Led a book group discussion on The Purloined Letter by Edgar Allan Poe. I wonder if Dupin would have been able to solve it without first having the police inspector fail? Dupin made it seem so obvious but it was only obvious after seeing the more complete picture and observing someone else's actions.
Dupin's solution was to place himself in the shoes of G--- to think like he thinks. That is hard. But a valuable skill. Wish I could think like my kids to understand them better!
Taught another piano lesson today. Started end of March teaching one student, plus Bekah. Going great.
Bekah lost a tooth today! I guess the tooth fairy decided the longer it takes for teeth to fall out, the more $?? or maybe just more $ for teeth 5-8?? (She got 4 quarters instead of 2.)
April 24, 2010--Saturday
Bekah and I were doing a puzzle together. We were talking about friends at school and boyfriends. She told me she used to have a boyfriend. I vaguely knew this but had never heard her tell me before. So I asked her what happened.
She said "We just decided it wasn't appropriate at our age."
Awesome Bekah!
April 25, 2010--Sunday
Stake Conference today. Finished The Book of Mormon today. Met the stake goal!
Everything which inviteth to do good, which bears good fruits (helps people do good things)
is of God
April 29, 2010--Thursday
JJ's been going around saying "uh huh" instead of yes now, and in such a happy way!
On the 27th he went downtown on the train with Jason and me and saw so many "people" and "buildings". Learning new words like crazy.
I've always heard if you want someone to trust and respect you, you have to show trust and respect towards them.
How do you make a 7yr old feel trusted?
April 30, 2010--Friday
Tornado watch again this afternoon/evening. Sirens didn't go off but it looked ominous for a while there. We were safe. My prayers were answered.
Started reading A Well Trained Mind tonight. Starting to think more about what to do for Bekah and school. First grade is a challenge. I don't want her to start hating school and learning, or to be labeled. I thought I'd never homeschool...I had so many reasons for why it wasn't a good idea in general or why having her gone during the day makes me a better mother because I get "me" time or bonding time with James. It's just what's done. You send your kids to public or private school. And, forgive me for saying it, homeschool was for people who seem like they don't fit in or are trying to "bubble" themselves away from the world. (Which is funny I think this since I sort of homeschooled for high school.) I would so be doing private school if we had the money. So my options are limited. But this book is amazing at making you feel like you can do it and that it's important to sacrifice now to give your child what they need to have a life full of loving learning. As a mother, it's amazing once you realize that you love your child and you truly want whats best for them that you're willing to do what they need, even if it means great sacrifice. I think that might be one of the greatest lessons of motherhood.
1-Blogging involves the internet, and invariably I get distracted on the internet so it takes longer to blog than I have time for. I keep remembering things I was supposed to pay for online, or research online, or emails that have to get sent for church callings or other reasons...
2-I am a pretty decent typer. I can type fast. That's a good thing, and actually one of my reasons for blogging in the first place. But I've learned I can type so fast I don't have time to form my sentences before writing (or at least I don't take the time to do so), whereas with hand writing entries I can think about that while I write and say what I mean. And by virtue of the fact that my hand gets more tired I think I learn to be more brief (at least more brief than I would have been online).
3-You can edit what you write on a blog. This is too tempting to ignore for me. I can pour over a post for 30-60 minutes just making sure I said everything I was thinking and that I said it in a good way. Hand writing entries for the most part can't be edited easily so somehow I just turn off my brain to change what I write and just might rephrase it if needed, but I usually just write and don't read it over to remember what I said...again because I write it more slowly I think I remember it more as I'm writing more.
4-Blogging involves technology--like computers that either are being slow, or aren't working, or everyone wants to use at the same time. I can go anywhere with my journal and not have to worry about a strong internet connection or having children pull on my arms because they want to be on the computer too.
I didn't expect to post on the downsides to blogging...
But it explains why I haven't been writing.
So for my own family's sake (those both here and far away), I'm going back to April 2010 and going to do my best to highlight what's been happening.
April 9, 2010--Friday
I've discovered I love pruning--maybe not at the correct time of year, but I loved pruning our trees and bushes after the green leaves started coming out and the blossoms forming. It was easy to see what was dead and it felt good to do something outside in the sun, and you can see your progress. Purging things you don't need always makes it easier to breathe for me, and pruning seems sort of like that. It's sure easier than tackling the 'pruning' that needs to happen inside the house or inside myself. Couple that with the fact that you and your kids have been cooped up in the house for the winter and now we can spread out and not scream because we don't all want the same toy anymore because we're busy exploring--and you have a recipe for enjoying the moment.
April 10, 2010--Saturday
Dates: No matter how much your children protest you not only have to go on dates with your spouse, you need to tell your children that's where you are going and why you need them to go to bed on time. It shows them...
-your excited to be with your spouse
-he is important to you
-you make time for him just like you do for them
-it makes it even more respected by them (in the long run) and by you
'Home' dates are so much more real and actually work when you tell everyone that's what's happening ahead of time. You may not do anything new, but the name and expectation makes it more fulfilling and satisfying.
Even if it seems cheesy to call it a date. Even if your kids whine and complain and makes them try to stay up later. Even if it's easier to not let them know so they don't know what they're missing and they don't put up a fight. If that's what it takes to get you to respect your spouse and date night, then do it. And just by virtue of you respecting it, your children will learn and feel safe that their mom loves their dad and wants to be with him. And that feels good.
What's that quote? The greatest thing a husband (or wife) can do for their children is to love their mother (or father).
(Side note for Sept 2010: I'm definitely still working on this...summer plans and activities seem to throw schedules out the window and I'm still recovering!)
April 11, 2010--Sunday
(Sept 2010--I'm not going to each day, I promise!)
Jason's birthday! I was reflecting on birthdays in general, particularly feeling not great about remembering that I'm getting older each May 10th and somehow realized these things:
The older you get the more birthdays you can see so it's seems it's not worth celebrating cause it's just another year and you've had so many (I know some will laugh at this who are much wiser in years than I!). But tonight I learned something about giving. Birthdays are a chance for others to learn about the joy of giving. Do your children see you excited about giving? Do they know how to treat a gift with care and how to show you care about how it's given?
This led to this chain of thoughts:
We're born into this world.
Our parents are our entire world. (1)
Then parents are just part of our world (like when starting school). (2)
Then we don't want them to be a part of our world. (3)
They aren't part of our world. (4)
Soon we miss them being part of our world (5)
many times because we became parents too (6)
And realize how much a part of our world our parents are and have always been. (7)
Then, as we realize they are gone, they become our entire world. (8)
Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could somehow stay in lines 1 and 8? This is a cycle of parenthood.
Sept 2010--more thoughts--The end result is the same as when we're born, but look how much now we've chosen it and are aware of it and feel it. So much to do with why our Heavenly Father needed to send us away for a while. Where am I on this chain with God? He was my entire world before I came to this earth. And He will be my entire world when I return to Him. So am I continuing on this chain? Do I appreciate Him as much as I should?
Had ward conference today and Bekah sang in church with the Marcucci girls part of "Jesus Once Was a Little Child". She was very nervous, but did wonderful! They sang the first part of the song and then the ward choir came in singing "I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus". At the end of that, they all sing together
So little children, let's you and I,
Try to be like him,
Try, try, try.
I'm trying to be like him.
Very moving.
Pres. Labrum's talk that day: God doesn't require us to be moving at the same speed. He only cares that we're moving.
So let's you and I, try, try, try.
April 13, 2010--Tuesday
Read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman in one day! Highly recommended for strengthening marriage.
April 16, 2010--Friday
Had to get a new washing machine, and I LOVE it! We brought the netbook with Muppet Babies episodes for the kids to watch in the shopping cart so Jason and I could really talk about what we're doing instead of refereeing the whole time. It was so nice to be able to shop together and make big decisions like that without anyone fighting or complaining! Isn't technology amazing! Then we had pre-dinner with shakes at Jamba Juice.
Funny saying by Bekah:
Jason likes to tease when we say one thing and it can mean another. And today is was getting frustrating to Bekah. She was talking about school library day and the books they were reading.
Bekah said "We were reading 'If You Give a Pig a Pancake'..."
Jason interjected "What? You ate pig pancakes?!"
B: "No! If You Give a Pig a Pancake!"
J: "What? You fed pancakes to pigs!"
B: (this is getting upset and mad at dad...but dad was only trying to joke and tease to make her smile)
(this is me talking for about 3-4 minutes about why dad does this and that he's only doing it in fun...he does understand you)
A couple minutes later...
Bekah says, "So today we read this book about a dad. He has this daughter. And he teases her a lot."
We busted up laughing!! So fun to hear her get it and to try to get back in fun.
April 17, 2010--Saturday
Fav things about today:
-Jason putting up our new mailbox!
-watching Bekah and JJ build a castle out of diaper boxes and blankets.
-JJ's random hugs to Bekah (oh and he started saying Bekah correctly last Sunday! Bekah was so happy she was literally speechless!)
-We got blizzards together!
April 22, 2010--Thursday
Led a book group discussion on The Purloined Letter by Edgar Allan Poe. I wonder if Dupin would have been able to solve it without first having the police inspector fail? Dupin made it seem so obvious but it was only obvious after seeing the more complete picture and observing someone else's actions.
Dupin's solution was to place himself in the shoes of G--- to think like he thinks. That is hard. But a valuable skill. Wish I could think like my kids to understand them better!
Taught another piano lesson today. Started end of March teaching one student, plus Bekah. Going great.
Bekah lost a tooth today! I guess the tooth fairy decided the longer it takes for teeth to fall out, the more $?? or maybe just more $ for teeth 5-8?? (She got 4 quarters instead of 2.)
April 24, 2010--Saturday
Bekah and I were doing a puzzle together. We were talking about friends at school and boyfriends. She told me she used to have a boyfriend. I vaguely knew this but had never heard her tell me before. So I asked her what happened.
She said "We just decided it wasn't appropriate at our age."
Awesome Bekah!
April 25, 2010--Sunday
Stake Conference today. Finished The Book of Mormon today. Met the stake goal!
Everything which inviteth to do good, which bears good fruits (helps people do good things)
is of God
April 29, 2010--Thursday
JJ's been going around saying "uh huh" instead of yes now, and in such a happy way!
On the 27th he went downtown on the train with Jason and me and saw so many "people" and "buildings". Learning new words like crazy.
I've always heard if you want someone to trust and respect you, you have to show trust and respect towards them.
How do you make a 7yr old feel trusted?
April 30, 2010--Friday
Tornado watch again this afternoon/evening. Sirens didn't go off but it looked ominous for a while there. We were safe. My prayers were answered.
Started reading A Well Trained Mind tonight. Starting to think more about what to do for Bekah and school. First grade is a challenge. I don't want her to start hating school and learning, or to be labeled. I thought I'd never homeschool...I had so many reasons for why it wasn't a good idea in general or why having her gone during the day makes me a better mother because I get "me" time or bonding time with James. It's just what's done. You send your kids to public or private school. And, forgive me for saying it, homeschool was for people who seem like they don't fit in or are trying to "bubble" themselves away from the world. (Which is funny I think this since I sort of homeschooled for high school.) I would so be doing private school if we had the money. So my options are limited. But this book is amazing at making you feel like you can do it and that it's important to sacrifice now to give your child what they need to have a life full of loving learning. As a mother, it's amazing once you realize that you love your child and you truly want whats best for them that you're willing to do what they need, even if it means great sacrifice. I think that might be one of the greatest lessons of motherhood.
Monday, May 10, 2010
For Rebekah
I wish I had time to write everything I'm feeling today. Today, seven whole years ago (can you believe it!) I was in the hospital holding this brand new sweet girl.
And just before that, Daddy was doing this! (One of my favorite pictures!)
Let me just say, it was my best birthday ever! Even though my doctor and me said that was the only day you couldn't be born. The doctor because he was baptizing his son that day, and me because I knew how hard it was to share a birthday near or on Mother's Day and didn't want you to have to experience that AND share with your mother. But you had other plans--and that's okay. It's teaching us both to share. My whole life since this day is one long lesson of giving up myself for you to learn and grow. It's the most awesome thing I have ever been asked to do.
I love you, Mary Rebekah. You are the most beautiful and sweet daughter. I couldn't ever ask for more.
I hope to be able to post more on the "story" of this day seven years ago, but for now I have to go.
And just before that, Daddy was doing this! (One of my favorite pictures!)
Let me just say, it was my best birthday ever! Even though my doctor and me said that was the only day you couldn't be born. The doctor because he was baptizing his son that day, and me because I knew how hard it was to share a birthday near or on Mother's Day and didn't want you to have to experience that AND share with your mother. But you had other plans--and that's okay. It's teaching us both to share. My whole life since this day is one long lesson of giving up myself for you to learn and grow. It's the most awesome thing I have ever been asked to do.
I love you, Mary Rebekah. You are the most beautiful and sweet daughter. I couldn't ever ask for more.
I hope to be able to post more on the "story" of this day seven years ago, but for now I have to go.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
School Lunch
So it started for me when Rebekah brought home her first school lunch calendar. I didn't glance too much at it--it was one of thirty papers coming home from school that first week. It took a couple weeks of sorting out info with the school district, but soon we discovered she could eat cheaper at school than by bringing lunch from home (which always seemed to be the reason I remember for my having to bring a lunch from home--school lunch was too expensive). So it seemed like a no-brainer. Hot lunch and saving money on groceries, not to mention no reminding and pushing and pulling to get the lunch packed each day and not forgotten. So it was all set.
Then when the next month's calendar came home I started looking at it. I was shocked. Every other meal was some variation of pizza! Well, I think pizza is a great meal to introduce healthy items into lunch, but this wasn't that kind of pizza. Pizza sticks, pizza funables (whatever that means), double stuffed crust cheese pizza, tony's pizza, "the max" cheese pizza wedge. I could not believe it. What made the pit in my stomach worse was realizing most of the other meals were worse than pizza: cheeseburgers, corn dogs, hot dogs, french toast sticks, chicken nuggets. (And Bekah told us today they just replaced the ham and cheese sandwich with a cheese-filled pretzel!) But I didn't do anything about it because I thought maybe this is how all schools are and I never realized it, and this is my first child so maybe I'm overreacting. But then I found out more about the "lunch hour" that disturbed me. It's only 20 minutes long. And that 20 minutes has to include gathering your stuff for recess and carrying it with you to the lunchroom, dropping it at your table, standing in line for school lunch, grabbing your drink napkin and utensils, and then you get to sit down and eat. Unfortunately if you forget to get your drink or utensils, you don't have time to stand back in line to get them, and the lunch supervisors seem to be (from what I hear from other parents as well as Bekah) strict about everyone sitting down and eating only their food and then leaving for recess. Like one day if a boy steals your milk for a joke, you aren't allowed to go up and get another one. (true story) But I should say some things in defense of the lunch room. We don't really have a cafeteria so they turn the gym into a lunch room. When you really think about stuffing 50-75 6-8 year olds into one gym without any food fights or messing around you need to keep them on task. The best way to avoid mishaps is to keep kids focused and busy. But if the 20 minutes is up I hear you are told to throw your lunch away and leave for recess. So it didn't take too long for Rebekah to start begging to bring lunch from home. This surprised me until I learned the reasons why she wanted to bring lunch. When I did casually ask a teacher about having to "throw your lunch away" I was told that the kids can always move to another table to go finish their lunch. But from a first grader's point of view I can see how that would be embarrassing when all your other friends get to go out and play and you would have to sit alone.
It doesn't seem right to feed children this kind of food at school when so many are trying to preach good eating habits. Especially when some of the preaching is happening in health class right after lunch! We're sending mixed messages to our kids. And it doesn't seem right to make kids have to eat so fast because they are afraid they won't have enough time to eat enough. It creates anxiety around meal times which breeds stomach aches and possibly other health concerns.
I don't know what the answer is and I don't know what I can do to help yet. But I'm learning. I believe in working with people and helping them feel like you care about them and their jobs and how to improve them. There is already so much automatic brick walls between teachers/administrators and parents that even dropping hints causes everyone to be on edge. It's taken me six months to build rapport with Rebekah's teacher to help her realize I really do trust her opinion and that I'm not out to promote my child over everyone else. I'm just trying to understand my role and what I can do to complement her education. So I know these things take time. I bet most school lunch cooks care about eating healthy but are probably trapped because they don't order the food or pay for it. I bet most administrators who order the food are trapped by what companies can offer and the prices of those offerings. And I bet the companies are trapped by a bad economy and needing to push those items that have the highest return so they can stay afloat and because that's what gets ordered the most. So I bet if I spent more time getting to know the situation I would probably end up doing many of the same things that are already being done. That said, I still think I can do something, especially starting with becoming more knowledgeable about school lunch.
I've really felt enlightened by following Mrs. Q's Fed Up With Lunch blog. Just a regular teacher who didn't know what to do but wanted to do something and she now gets 1,000-4,000s hits a day and requests for interviews from major media outlets. From reading her blog, I have learned to be grateful for the school district we are in. We at least still have daily recess. I had felt content for now to just gather information. Until today. I read this post and was floored about this senior's experience with Aramark. And this school district is right next to ours! Now I know I may not see the whole picture of school lunch, but I agree that if it's mandatory to post nutritional information on food sold in stores and at fast food restaurants, I believe it's not too much to ask that school lunch nutritional information be posted as well. How about you? Even though you may not be part of District 300 or even in the state of Illinois, can we still send a message to companies like Aramark that we care about healthy food choices and would really like to see that information? Please consider signing this petition.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Family Pictures
So I knew it'd been a really long time since we'd had a real family picture...Dec 2008 to be exact. We had one "look where we are" family picture in July 2009 at our favorite pizza place Nick's, or "the place where you get to throw peanuts on the floor!" as Bekah calls it.
But nothing since. That's sad. So we decided "Let's hurry and do one right now. No matter what." So the background isn't great, but the lighting is good. And we made it happen. Here's what we came up with in just 15 minutes notice for dressing up and 15 minutes outside.
Don't I have an awesome husband who can do things like this on the fly?! Guess I should listen to him more when he says "Let's have a family picture today" and I always say "Nooooo, do we have to?" It's a hold over from childhood. Family pictures were always so traumatic and boring at the same time. But not to worry, we made it fun too. That's the great thing about being your own photographer and having digital pictures...it doesn't cost anymore so you feel like you can make it more fun. Aren't families great!
But nothing since. That's sad. So we decided "Let's hurry and do one right now. No matter what." So the background isn't great, but the lighting is good. And we made it happen. Here's what we came up with in just 15 minutes notice for dressing up and 15 minutes outside.
Don't I have an awesome husband who can do things like this on the fly?! Guess I should listen to him more when he says "Let's have a family picture today" and I always say "Nooooo, do we have to?" It's a hold over from childhood. Family pictures were always so traumatic and boring at the same time. But not to worry, we made it fun too. That's the great thing about being your own photographer and having digital pictures...it doesn't cost anymore so you feel like you can make it more fun. Aren't families great!
Friday, March 5, 2010
We've been enjoying very fine weather
Or so Margaret says in one of my favorite movies. We have actually been having great weather, though. It makes me feel guilty, though, knowing my brother was just buried under another record snow storm back east!
Anyway, Bekah was learning about the weather in her last science unit. She decided early one morning while in the car, "When I grow up I'm going to be a meteorologist!"
However, not more than two weeks later, she had this to say:
"I'm so glad we don't live in one of those countries where they pick our jobs for us. If I were a meteorologist I would be busy!"
------------------
Here's another weather-related event. A couple weeks ago we got about 10 inches of snow. Not anything out of the ordinary, I know, but there was something different about this snow. It was wet, packable snow! We have heard quite frequently during the winters here so far from a certain 1st grader whenever someone says something positive about winter or Chicago or our house here, we hear "Yeah but you can't make snowmen here. It's so dumb. I wish we were in Utah. You could make snowmen there. I'll never be able to make a snowman again." That's because it's so cold and dry here for most of the winter that the snow just turns to powder and blows away. But towards the end of the winter it turns wet. It makes it a beast to shovel, especially the stuff the snow plows leave at the edge of your sidewalks and driveways. But it made someone else very happy!
After spending a full day at school, she still thoroughly enjoyed putting all that gear on and braving the cold to go finally build her snowman.
Something interesting happened, though. Upon hearing dinner was ready and that if she ate quickly she could come back out and finish before it got too dark, she had this to say:
Rebekah-I'll just do some more tomorrow.
Mom-Okay. Just know the snow could melt before then.
Rebekah-Yeah....but that's okay. It will come back next year.
Thank you so much for looking at the positive side! That was a highlight of my week.
Anyway, Bekah was learning about the weather in her last science unit. She decided early one morning while in the car, "When I grow up I'm going to be a meteorologist!"
However, not more than two weeks later, she had this to say:
"I'm so glad we don't live in one of those countries where they pick our jobs for us. If I were a meteorologist I would be busy!"
------------------
Here's another weather-related event. A couple weeks ago we got about 10 inches of snow. Not anything out of the ordinary, I know, but there was something different about this snow. It was wet, packable snow! We have heard quite frequently during the winters here so far from a certain 1st grader whenever someone says something positive about winter or Chicago or our house here, we hear "Yeah but you can't make snowmen here. It's so dumb. I wish we were in Utah. You could make snowmen there. I'll never be able to make a snowman again." That's because it's so cold and dry here for most of the winter that the snow just turns to powder and blows away. But towards the end of the winter it turns wet. It makes it a beast to shovel, especially the stuff the snow plows leave at the edge of your sidewalks and driveways. But it made someone else very happy!
After spending a full day at school, she still thoroughly enjoyed putting all that gear on and braving the cold to go finally build her snowman.
Something interesting happened, though. Upon hearing dinner was ready and that if she ate quickly she could come back out and finish before it got too dark, she had this to say:
Rebekah-I'll just do some more tomorrow.
Mom-Okay. Just know the snow could melt before then.
Rebekah-Yeah....but that's okay. It will come back next year.
Thank you so much for looking at the positive side! That was a highlight of my week.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Rebekah, the artist
Here are some of Bekah's most recent art projects from school. I am very impressed with her creative skills!
We recently had some friends over for dinner and while they were feeding their infant we were all making the normal "eat-me" noises that you find yourself doing to try to make eating exciting. Bekah was observing and said excitedly, "That's an onomatopoeia!" We were all speechless for a few seconds...and I shamefully had to ask, "What's an auna-mata-pea?" Whoops. I guess I have to start acting like I know more than she does if I'm supposed to help her with homework. Luckily I'm married to an English major! She also recently said something like "We need to use adjectives so our stories aren't boring." But I still love how any time she's trying to say myself, James or her are addicted to something, we are actually "infected". :-)
Bekah is helping out more (in a helpful to mom kind of way) with James now and scenes like these are happening all the time! I love it!
We recently had some friends over for dinner and while they were feeding their infant we were all making the normal "eat-me" noises that you find yourself doing to try to make eating exciting. Bekah was observing and said excitedly, "That's an onomatopoeia!" We were all speechless for a few seconds...and I shamefully had to ask, "What's an auna-mata-pea?" Whoops. I guess I have to start acting like I know more than she does if I'm supposed to help her with homework. Luckily I'm married to an English major! She also recently said something like "We need to use adjectives so our stories aren't boring." But I still love how any time she's trying to say myself, James or her are addicted to something, we are actually "infected". :-)
Bekah is helping out more (in a helpful to mom kind of way) with James now and scenes like these are happening all the time! I love it!
Monday, November 30, 2009
Schoolwork
(Written in the first week of school, Rebekah wrote about going to Oregon a few weeks back for my sister's wedding. I think it's hilarious she never even mentions Angie, which she normally adores! Instead it's about her new uncle, whom she spent less than 10 minutes talking to the whole time we were there I think. So funny! It says, "I went to Canbyland [what she calls Canby]. I was there because somebody was getting married in Canby. I have a new uncle. I love him and he loves me, too." Brandon we love you!)
Halloween!
Here are some great pics of Halloween this year. James was Batman. (Don't we love these superhero PJs! Great way to reuse something. Great for the environment, since that seems to be a big theme lately around here.) Rebekah was a witch. She decided shortly after last Halloween that that is what she wanted to be, and we stuck with it, much to my surprise. I guess it helps when you buy props on the clearance shelves the day after Halloween and then don't let the kids play dress-up with them for a year so they anticipate getting to wear them in 11 months...well it worked this year anyway. We went to a church party, complete with chili dinner, karaoke, carnival games, and a trunk or treat.Then both Jason and I got to attend Rebekah's first Halloween parade at school! (She's in the middle of the parade photo.) Talk about flashbacks to my childhood! James loved watching all the kids. He is SOOOO in love with skeletons and scary faces. He starts laughing! It's so funny.
Then on Halloween day, we went to a pumpkin patch to pick a pumpkin. It was free if you wore a costume so the kids came dressed up. But the wind was REALLY bad and the driver of the trailer had to trust us that the costumes were there underneath all the winter gear...we were wishing we had prepared better and vowed that next year's costumes are going to be super warm! I think Bekah said something like "I'm going to die!" (which actually happens about once a week), but all was back to normal once we got hot chocolate and fresh apple cider donuts. Too bad the pumpkin was rotted through in 24 hours. But the experience was a memory we'll always have and hopefully a tradition to continue in the future, although better prepared next time.
Bekah's New Haircut
Bekah, or Rebekah as she corrects me daily now, wanted to have short hair...so this is my attempt at something other than a trim. It turned out okay, but I'm hoping I can get faster. It was hard for her to sit still long enough to get it straight, and I shudder to think about how I'm going to get James to sit still in the next few months when I need to cut his hair...hopefully just with scissors and not clippers. Rebekah misses being able to put it up out of her face, which I warned her about, but she likes it most days. She told me she wanted it at her ears...like a boy...I talked to down to her shoulders. Phew!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Age, Weight, and Time Continuum
James had his 15 month check-up yesterday, including two shots (which he only cried for 10 seconds!), a height and weight check, ear check, etc. All that fun stuff. And I happy to announce that...
JAMES IS ON THE CHARTS AGAIN! This is the first time since he was 2 months old that he's been above zero on the charts for weight-for-age! Granted it's only 5% but that is almost exactly where Bekah was at that age so we're doing just fine. Height-for-age is currently 50%. I guess that formula is really helping...or maybe he's just not burning so many calories, but that's hard to believe since he's starting to halfway run everywhere. He will be keeping me busy these next few years--if not longer. Anyhow, were to keep him on the formula for another few months to maintain things but we can start substituting for whole milk gradually. Yeah! $2 a gallon instead of $22--and I'm not exaggerating that. Formula is that expensive.
Details...
Height 2'7" (I guess he's tall enough now that they start listing it like that instead of in inches only.)
Weight 20 lbs 12 oz
Near the end of the visit, the doctor asked, "So have you started potty training yet?" Can you believe it! I said, "No...my daughter wasn't even trained until almost 4." Doc: "That's way too long. He should be trained during the day by age 2." (As if it was my fault for not making that happen sooner...goodness knows I tried!) I was quite shocked! Not that I was supposed to be thinking about it, but that it hadn't even entered my mind yet! It truly was a wake-up call that he's growing up, and I honestly had a hard time not saying out loud "He's my baby and I want to enjoy him just like this as long as I can. Don't tell me he's old enough for that."
With child #2 I've found it much easier to enjoy each stage as it comes and not seek for the next. But looking back I remember Bekah showed interest at 18 months. (It just didn't last. She decided once she had done it a couple times it wasn't fun anymore and nothing we could say or do would make her change her mind until preschool was coming and she decided she really wanted to go.) James is only 3 months away from that! And yet he seems so much younger than Bekah did at that age!
I'm realizing that maybe that's what makes a lot of the differences in placement in families (oldest, middle, youngest). Child #1 only gets compared to what we remember about being kids, or kids we babysat (which we said many times 'my kids won't act like that'), or even the adults we associate with. I found myself being so excited to see how grown up she was becoming and being excited about the new stages that soon expectations developed that made it seem like she should act more grown up because "look at all the new things she can do." Child #2 comes along and now you have a lot more recent benchmark...which there are both pros and cons that fallout from this, for both oldest and not oldest. Suddenly Child #2 can't be expected to do many things because it's obvious that "he's not as old as you" and "Child #1 you should know better." Then you find yourself at the doctor one day saying "no way, you're too demanding of my child" referring to Child #2 and then you think back and say, "wow, I was sure demanding of Child #1. Will she ever forgive me?"
Being the oldest myself, though, I feel comforted knowing yes, I saw it happened to me, but I think I still turned out okay. :) And there are other great benefits to being the oldest that make up for the hard parts. I'm hoping in the future I can remember this though so I can not be too hard on any of my kids. Yet at the same time remember to positively encourage new stages of development. So I guess that means potty-training here I come! Well...maybe.
JAMES IS ON THE CHARTS AGAIN! This is the first time since he was 2 months old that he's been above zero on the charts for weight-for-age! Granted it's only 5% but that is almost exactly where Bekah was at that age so we're doing just fine. Height-for-age is currently 50%. I guess that formula is really helping...or maybe he's just not burning so many calories, but that's hard to believe since he's starting to halfway run everywhere. He will be keeping me busy these next few years--if not longer. Anyhow, were to keep him on the formula for another few months to maintain things but we can start substituting for whole milk gradually. Yeah! $2 a gallon instead of $22--and I'm not exaggerating that. Formula is that expensive.
Details...
Height 2'7" (I guess he's tall enough now that they start listing it like that instead of in inches only.)
Weight 20 lbs 12 oz
Near the end of the visit, the doctor asked, "So have you started potty training yet?" Can you believe it! I said, "No...my daughter wasn't even trained until almost 4." Doc: "That's way too long. He should be trained during the day by age 2." (As if it was my fault for not making that happen sooner...goodness knows I tried!) I was quite shocked! Not that I was supposed to be thinking about it, but that it hadn't even entered my mind yet! It truly was a wake-up call that he's growing up, and I honestly had a hard time not saying out loud "He's my baby and I want to enjoy him just like this as long as I can. Don't tell me he's old enough for that."
With child #2 I've found it much easier to enjoy each stage as it comes and not seek for the next. But looking back I remember Bekah showed interest at 18 months. (It just didn't last. She decided once she had done it a couple times it wasn't fun anymore and nothing we could say or do would make her change her mind until preschool was coming and she decided she really wanted to go.) James is only 3 months away from that! And yet he seems so much younger than Bekah did at that age!
I'm realizing that maybe that's what makes a lot of the differences in placement in families (oldest, middle, youngest). Child #1 only gets compared to what we remember about being kids, or kids we babysat (which we said many times 'my kids won't act like that'), or even the adults we associate with. I found myself being so excited to see how grown up she was becoming and being excited about the new stages that soon expectations developed that made it seem like she should act more grown up because "look at all the new things she can do." Child #2 comes along and now you have a lot more recent benchmark...which there are both pros and cons that fallout from this, for both oldest and not oldest. Suddenly Child #2 can't be expected to do many things because it's obvious that "he's not as old as you" and "Child #1 you should know better." Then you find yourself at the doctor one day saying "no way, you're too demanding of my child" referring to Child #2 and then you think back and say, "wow, I was sure demanding of Child #1. Will she ever forgive me?"
Being the oldest myself, though, I feel comforted knowing yes, I saw it happened to me, but I think I still turned out okay. :) And there are other great benefits to being the oldest that make up for the hard parts. I'm hoping in the future I can remember this though so I can not be too hard on any of my kids. Yet at the same time remember to positively encourage new stages of development. So I guess that means potty-training here I come! Well...maybe.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
The plight of mom
So last week I picked up Bekah from a friend's house and within a few minutes of being inside the door she couldn't wait to tell me:
"MOM! Tori's mom forgets things too!!"
I knew I wasn't the only mom who forgets things. It is nice to hear when your kids expectations get adjusted more realistically so they aren't too hard on you when your brain just doesn't work as well as you wish it would. Motherhood sure does a good job of keeping you humble.
"MOM! Tori's mom forgets things too!!"
I knew I wasn't the only mom who forgets things. It is nice to hear when your kids expectations get adjusted more realistically so they aren't too hard on you when your brain just doesn't work as well as you wish it would. Motherhood sure does a good job of keeping you humble.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Who learns more...the kids or the parents?
So just about the time I was going to ask her if she would be in charge of the lesson for tonight's Family Night she asked me, "Mom, please can I do the lesson?" She typically likes to be in charge of everything she can be, so since tonight wasn't really structured, with Jason being gone, I said "Sure." Her favorite topic the last few months is "The Plan of Salvation"...this is because it was her favorite lesson I've taught her about six months ago for family night. I know the ideas for that lesson were inspired from above on how to teach it on her level. She was struggling with being six, being the oldest, having to obey her parents instead of tell her parents how things were going to be done...I don't remember all the challenges she kept having but things weren't going too well with behavior and emotions. Suddenly it struck me that maybe it might help if she knew why she was here, where she was going, and what Heavenly Father wants her to do so she can see the big picture and how bad days can be overcome. So one Monday (we're usually alone for family night since Jason has class late and James goes to bed early) I said to Bekah that I had a very important plan to tell her about and we each got a piece of paper and I drew a part of "The Plan of Salvation" just like it had been shown to me in primary and she copied what I drew on her paper while we talked. It was amazing! That lesson lasted about a half hour and she was excited and kept asking all kinds of questions! I realized she listens much better when she can hear, touch, feel, and see what we are learning all at the same time. And she felt so important getting to copy what mom was doing. I didn't have to prepare any great visuals ahead of time, I didn't even really think too much about preparing for it. We just sat down and drew pictures together. I share this here because I was so amazed by this experience and thought maybe others might benefit from what I learned from the Spirit that day.
So today she taught me about The Plan. And she asked me to pretend I didn't know anything about it. She made a sort of game out of it where you had to guess the answers to what was on the pictures. Then this last page was really precious.
Wow. She gets it. Boy does that feel good to a parent when something you taught your kid sticks...or should I say something the Spirit taught. Now she reminds me on bad days what the big picture is. Heavenly Father sure knew what He was doing, putting us in families.
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