Pretend it's April 2010

So for various reasons, many of which had to do with internet access being VERY sketchy for a while, I ended up going back to a written journal. And still I haven't stopped. I still love the idea of blogging, but I've found barriers to it.

1-Blogging involves the internet, and invariably I get distracted on the internet so it takes longer to blog than I have time for. I keep remembering things I was supposed to pay for online, or research online, or emails that have to get sent for church callings or other reasons...

2-I am a pretty decent typer. I can type fast. That's a good thing, and actually one of my reasons for blogging in the first place. But I've learned I can type so fast I don't have time to form my sentences before writing (or at least I don't take the time to do so), whereas with hand writing entries I can think about that while I write and say what I mean. And by virtue of the fact that my hand gets more tired I think I learn to be more brief (at least more brief than I would have been online).

3-You can edit what you write on a blog. This is too tempting to ignore for me. I can pour over a post for 30-60 minutes just making sure I said everything I was thinking and that I said it in a good way. Hand writing entries for the most part can't be edited easily so somehow I just turn off my brain to change what I write and just might rephrase it if needed, but I usually just write and don't read it over to remember what I said...again because I write it more slowly I think I remember it more as I'm writing more.

4-Blogging involves technology--like computers that either are being slow, or aren't working, or everyone wants to use at the same time. I can go anywhere with my journal and not have to worry about a strong internet connection or having children pull on my arms because they want to be on the computer too.

I didn't expect to post on the downsides to blogging...
But it explains why I haven't been writing.

So for my own family's sake (those both here and far away), I'm going back to April 2010 and going to do my best to highlight what's been happening.

April 9, 2010--Friday
I've discovered I love pruning--maybe not at the correct time of year, but I loved pruning our trees and bushes after the green leaves started coming out and the blossoms forming. It was easy to see what was dead and it felt good to do something outside in the sun, and you can see your progress. Purging things you don't need always makes it easier to breathe for me, and pruning seems sort of like that. It's sure easier than tackling the 'pruning' that needs to happen inside the house or inside myself. Couple that with the fact that you and your kids have been cooped up in the house for the winter and now we can spread out and not scream because we don't all want the same toy anymore because we're busy exploring--and you have a recipe for enjoying the moment.

April 10, 2010--Saturday
Dates: No matter how much your children protest you not only have to go on dates with your spouse, you need to tell your children that's where you are going and why you need them to go to bed on time. It shows them...
-your excited to be with your spouse
-he is important to you
-you make time for him just like you do for them
-it makes it even more respected by them (in the long run) and by you
'Home' dates are so much more real and actually work when you tell everyone that's what's happening ahead of time. You may not do anything new, but the name and expectation makes it more fulfilling and satisfying.
Even if it seems cheesy to call it a date. Even if your kids whine and complain and makes them try to stay up later. Even if it's easier to not let them know so they don't know what they're missing and they don't put up a fight. If that's what it takes to get you to respect your spouse and date night, then do it. And just by virtue of you respecting it, your children will learn and feel safe that their mom loves their dad and wants to be with him. And that feels good.
What's that quote? The greatest thing a husband (or wife) can do for their children is to love their mother (or father).
(Side note for Sept 2010: I'm definitely still working on this...summer plans and activities seem to throw schedules out the window and I'm still recovering!)

April 11, 2010--Sunday
(Sept 2010--I'm not going to each day, I promise!)
Jason's birthday! I was reflecting on birthdays in general, particularly feeling not great about remembering that I'm getting older each May 10th and somehow realized these things:
The older you get the more birthdays you can see so it's seems it's not worth celebrating cause it's just another year and you've had so many (I know some will laugh at this who are much wiser in years than I!). But tonight I learned something about giving. Birthdays are a chance for others to learn about the joy of giving. Do your children see you excited about giving? Do they know how to treat a gift with care and how to show you care about how it's given?

This led to this chain of thoughts:
We're born into this world.
Our parents are our entire world. (1)
Then parents are just part of our world (like when starting school). (2)
Then we don't want them to be a part of our world. (3)
They aren't part of our world. (4)
Soon we miss them being part of our world (5)
many times because we became parents too (6)
And realize how much a part of our world our parents are and have always been. (7)
Then, as we realize they are gone, they become our entire world. (8)

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could somehow stay in lines 1 and 8? This is a cycle of parenthood.
Sept 2010--more thoughts--The end result is the same as when we're born, but look how much now we've chosen it and are aware of it and feel it. So much to do with why our Heavenly Father needed to send us away for a while. Where am I on this chain with God? He was my entire world before I came to this earth. And He will be my entire world when I return to Him. So am I continuing on this chain? Do I appreciate Him as much as I should?

Had ward conference today and Bekah sang in church with the Marcucci girls part of "Jesus Once Was a Little Child". She was very nervous, but did wonderful! They sang the first part of the song and then the ward choir came in singing "I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus". At the end of that, they all sing together
So little children, let's you and I,
Try to be like him,
Try, try, try.
I'm trying to be like him.
Very moving.
Pres. Labrum's talk that day: God doesn't require us to be moving at the same speed. He only cares that we're moving.
So let's you and I, try, try, try.

April 13, 2010--Tuesday

Read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman in one day! Highly recommended for strengthening marriage.

April 16, 2010--Friday
Had to get a new washing machine, and I LOVE it! We brought the netbook with Muppet Babies episodes for the kids to watch in the shopping cart so Jason and I could really talk about what we're doing instead of refereeing the whole time. It was so nice to be able to shop together and make big decisions like that without anyone fighting or complaining! Isn't technology amazing! Then we had pre-dinner with shakes at Jamba Juice.

Funny saying by Bekah:
Jason likes to tease when we say one thing and it can mean another. And today is was getting frustrating to Bekah. She was talking about school library day and the books they were reading.
Bekah said "We were reading 'If You Give a Pig a Pancake'..."
Jason interjected "What? You ate pig pancakes?!"
B: "No! If You Give a Pig a Pancake!"
J: "What? You fed pancakes to pigs!"
B: (this is getting upset and mad at dad...but dad was only trying to joke and tease to make her smile)
(this is me talking for about 3-4 minutes about why dad does this and that he's only doing it in fun...he does understand you)
A couple minutes later...
Bekah says, "So today we read this book about a dad. He has this daughter. And he teases her a lot."
We busted up laughing!! So fun to hear her get it and to try to get back in fun.

April 17, 2010--Saturday
Fav things about today:
-Jason putting up our new mailbox!
-watching Bekah and JJ build a castle out of diaper boxes and blankets.
-JJ's random hugs to Bekah (oh and he started saying Bekah correctly last Sunday! Bekah was so happy she was literally speechless!)
-We got blizzards together!

April 22, 2010--Thursday
Led a book group discussion on The Purloined Letter by Edgar Allan Poe. I wonder if Dupin would have been able to solve it without first having the police inspector fail? Dupin made it seem so obvious but it was only obvious after seeing the more complete picture and observing someone else's actions.
Dupin's solution was to place himself in the shoes of G--- to think like he thinks. That is hard. But a valuable skill. Wish I could think like my kids to understand them better!
Taught another piano lesson today. Started end of March teaching one student, plus Bekah. Going great.
Bekah lost a tooth today! I guess the tooth fairy decided the longer it takes for teeth to fall out, the more $?? or maybe just more $ for teeth 5-8?? (She got 4 quarters instead of 2.)

April 24, 2010--Saturday
Bekah and I were doing a puzzle together. We were talking about friends at school and boyfriends. She told me she used to have a boyfriend. I vaguely knew this but had never heard her tell me before. So I asked her what happened.
She said "We just decided it wasn't appropriate at our age."
Awesome Bekah!

April 25, 2010--Sunday
Stake Conference today. Finished The Book of Mormon today. Met the stake goal!
Everything which inviteth to do good, which bears good fruits (helps people do good things)
is of God

April 29, 2010--Thursday
JJ's been going around saying "uh huh" instead of yes now, and in such a happy way!
On the 27th he went downtown on the train with Jason and me and saw so many "people" and "buildings". Learning new words like crazy.

I've always heard if you want someone to trust and respect you, you have to show trust and respect towards them.
How do you make a 7yr old feel trusted?

April 30, 2010--Friday
Tornado watch again this afternoon/evening. Sirens didn't go off but it looked ominous for a while there. We were safe. My prayers were answered.

Started reading A Well Trained Mind tonight. Starting to think more about what to do for Bekah and school. First grade is a challenge. I don't want her to start hating school and learning, or to be labeled. I thought I'd never homeschool...I had so many reasons for why it wasn't a good idea in general or why having her gone during the day makes me a better mother because I get "me" time or bonding time with James. It's just what's done. You send your kids to public or private school. And, forgive me for saying it, homeschool was for people who seem like they don't fit in or are trying to "bubble" themselves away from the world. (Which is funny I think this since I sort of homeschooled for high school.) I would so be doing private school if we had the money. So my options are limited. But this book is amazing at making you feel like you can do it and that it's important to sacrifice now to give your child what they need to have a life full of loving learning. As a mother, it's amazing once you realize that you love your child and you truly want whats best for them that you're willing to do what they need, even if it means great sacrifice. I think that might be one of the greatest lessons of motherhood.