Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
The Barbie Dilemma
I came across this post today. Very interesting. Not sure I will do what this mother did, but food for thought. Read, if you have a moment. Maybe buying the whole house with the family is worth saving up for...instead of the single, affordable Barbie doll. Just an idea.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
The Post I Could Have Written
I just read this post on a homeschooling blog I sometimes read. I don't always agree with the writers (it's a conglomeration of homeschool moms all with different takes on how to homeschool but who are all LDS), but this post I could have written. People ask me "How can you be with your kids all day? Don't you need 'me' time?" I've been wanting to record my own story and thoughts, but in this crazy busy world for now I will link to this one.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Pretend it's May/June 2010
More updating. We're getting there. :)
More on homeschooling and learning styles
Finished reading The Well Trained Mind by Jesse Wise. Amazing book. Have had a copy for so long (borrowed from my friend) but hadn't spent much time with it until now (end of May/early June) as it's so big and overwhelming. Yet one night after deciding I needed to seriously consider homeschooling, and feeling strongly led in that direction that it may be the right thing for Bekah, despite my inclination to not want to do it, I read almost the whole thing in one night (all but chapter 1 and the jr high, high school years). Didn't get much sleep, but sometimes you just really feel like God is directing you and wants you to do something even in the middle of the night. It's the only time to really meditate and be able to see the whole picture of something because there are no interruptions. Somehow I was blessed with seeing more of the big picture of elementary education and how to go about it for our situation. Reading review after review of curriculum, yet within minutes receiving inspiration just by having it feel right or not right, and at the same time having to ignore my strong inner makeup that tells me I have to research everything about everything so I can make informed decisions. Learning to trust those feelings and acknowledging that it's help I need, so I can move on and do what needs to be done. I don't think I've ever felt that much inspiration flowing through me in that short of a time frame. (And I sure do look back and remember this night when the days get hard, when I wonder why I am doing this. The scripture somewhere that says "why doubt ye? I have already given you an answer" frequently comes to my mind.)
Sometimes I wish I could feel that 'pure inspiration flowing' into me more often, it's such a wonderful feeling to really feel like you're headed on the right path and not just hoping or guessing you're near it. I wish I had more time to ponder and meditate, but it seems to always come at the expense of leaving something else undone my family or my household needs. Motherhood lately seems to comprise less of diaper changing and feeding, and more of taxi-ing, phone calls, and constant interruptions. I'm not sure I like this increased busy-ness...it's so hard to make time to enjoy. I guess that's a hidden blessing of having another child is it forces you to feed and diaper change which ends up being a wonderful break from the hectic pace of life. If you would have told me this while in the thick of it with Bekah, I would never have believed it!
Later in May...studying more about curriculum and assessing learning styles. Fun side track trying to guess what Meiers Briggs code we each are! My best guess is Bekah is ENFP, but I think that might change as she gets older (Extrovert, intuiting, feeling, perceiving). Myself, INFJ (Introvert, intuiting, feeling, judging). I'm guessing Jason is ISTJ or ISTP (Introvert, sensing, thinking, and either judging or perceiving). Easy to see how Bekah is constantly feeling like life is boring since we're both introverts and she's not! It says a good occupation for Bekah's style is journalist--totally perfect fit! She loves to watch and listen for the news and has to know what's going to everyone everywhere! She loves getting the whole story. And she loves stories that really happened. She will love studying history!
Best introductory homeschooling book I've read so far: So You're Thinking About Homeschooling by Lisa Whelchel, former Fact of Life actress. Really easy read and helps introduce about 17 possible ways to homeschool. Totally makes you feel like you can find a method that works for you.
Piano lessons and summer job
I think in all these updating posts, I think I forgot to mention that I've started teaching piano lessons. Never thought I'd be one of those moms who works two jobs and still holds it together--I always thought I didn't have it in my to do all that and it seems like what supermoms do. But it is what it is. I was surprised to discover what the going rate for lessons out here is, so it makes it profitable in a third of the time it takes to clean a house! So at the end of March I began teaching one of Bekah's friends whose mom asked if I would teach. I also started teaching Bekah as well--wondered if teaching my own child would work, but since she's aware of someone else taking lessons and is at about the same level, it keeps her motivated to learn.
I'm finding I like teaching more than I thought I would. I've taught here and there, but never to do it for a regular paycheck. And I never liked the idea of forcing kids to practice when I know if that had happened to me I never would have liked the piano so much. But at the same time, I'm finding it wonderful to remember how excited I am about music and finding ways to inspire others to find that enjoyment.
So since it's summer now (Jason is done with his semester May 1st) I go back to working 3-4 days a week cleaning houses, and now piano lessons 1 day a week. (Thus the reason for almost no blogging or keeping up with friends since then. And just wait, it only gets crazier in September!) This gives Jason a sorely needed break from teaching, allow us to have an income with a flexible schedule so we can go to Utah for 4 weeks this summer, and frees up Jason's time to finish his office and the family room in the basement (originally for more play space, but now using it for homeschool mostly). I don't mind cleaning houses when you have clients you like to clean for, but these past two summers when you get random clients it's really hard to go to work. You never know what you're going to find. It might take 3 hours, it might take 6. You might be threatened by pets or overwhelmed by mold. It's not easy work. It's hard on my body. But it's worked out to be the best job for me right now as I know my weaknesses and limitations--needing a highly flexible schedule where I can leave the work day at work and not be tempted to be a workaholic. The occasional tips are nice too. :)
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
When I got home from work and taking Jason to the doctor and getting medicine, just in time for Bekah to get home from school, we tried to do something fun and spontaneous since Bekah was having a rough day. So we donned our bathing suits and turned the hose on in the front yard, only to be attacked by mosquitoes! They are extremely bad this year! Even the long-timers say it's bad. They come out in the day now, not just at night, and since we're behind on cutting our grass and haven't sprayed yet, they love our house. Poor Bekah. In 10 minutes we had about 10 bites between us. We had to stop. So to make up for it, we let the kids play in their suits in the bathtub with water guns and spray bottles. Almost as fun! They had a blast. We should do that more often. Except then JJ slipped and hit his head. Poor James.
Jason still has bronchitis and is trying some new medicine. I took the kids out of the house so he could sleep and we found a night light for James! Both kids love it! It's this cute white bear they named Fuzzy as soon as they saw it. It's a rechargeable animal you can carry around with you that runs on LED lights from Target. James has started not sleeping through the night because he's become scared of the dark, so we're hoping this will solve the problem. It's too much for me to deal with a sick husband and a toddler who won't sleep through the night anymore and work during the day all at the same time. This one night while Jason was gone on his trip, went to bed late because of homeschool research, slept for a half hour when JJ started screaming! He took an hour to fall back asleep, then awake again at his normal 7am. This happened both Fri and Sat night. Then Sunday night when I was trying to go to bed early (albeit 11pm) JJ woke up right then screaming and he'd only calm down if I stayed in the room so I ended up falling asleep in his chair until 1am. Finally got into my bed, only be woken up by Bekah who had a bad dream. Then JJ started crying again! I don't remember what happened after that, but I ended up averaging 4 hours of sleep each night Jason was gone! Sure taught me how hard single parenting is. So I'm hoping the night light helps James.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
It worked! JJ screamed for about 2 seconds and then it was silent. He put himself back to sleep! The night light, although not cheap, was worth every penny!
Ended up going to urgent care today because a bug bite I got on my hand while running in the hose started swelling up. Put me on antibiotic and dr also decided to give me a tetanus shot since I think I was 16 for the last one. That hurt worse than my thumb! And it made me feel exhausted. (Come to think of it--it was probably my crazy last several days that actually did it!) Ended up rescheduling work for another day.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Spent an HOUR on the phone with AT&T trying to fix our internet. (Had to be after 9pm since we're out of minutes this month again--luckily their call center is open late.) I'm sensing no savings of time due to technology lately. Sometimes it's so frustrating I almost don't want new things to be invented because I don't want to have to keep up--it's too expensive, takes too much time to learn or starts new habits I didn't have to learn about before.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Bekah and I are reading a kids biography of Abigail Adams, received from her nana for her birthday. Thank you! She loves hearing historical fiction stories.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
JJ went from communicating by noise (could say drink but always preferred making slurping noises instead, knew how to say 'dog' but made 'ruff, ruff' noises intead--that kind of thing--can we say auditory learner!), to very slowly using one word here and there, to fully blasting forward into sentences! And he's using I/me/you in correct form! I'm pretty sure he doesn't realize what he's saying but he copies us a lot. He learns new words every day. He loves big characters he can go hug, like Chuck E Cheese. (He would have LOVED Cosmo!) Favorite phrases right now are "I did it", " 'mon" for come on, "They're coming" for birds (not sure why he got into that), "outside", "lawnmower" sometimes calling it "mow mow", "miwt" or "milt" for milk, and "ug" for hug.
He used to communicate with us by having us ask him a list of questions or so to try to guess what he'd want since having a hard time verbalizing it. So we'd ask things like "diaper change?" JJ: "Nooow" or shake head no or act upset. "Change clothes?" JJ same reaction. "Eat...hungry?" Same. "Blanket?" If this is what he wanted he'd start forced laughing! And that's how you'd know you got it right! It almost sounded like 1/2 crying 1/2 laughing.
He says "Tant U, Wew com" together 'thank you, welcome'--he thinks they go together. He's said "I found it!", "I see it!", "Hold you", "Tee bee" for TV, "mote" for remote, and "Hew-whoa" to mean phone or hello. When he wants Jason to get up out of the rocking chair so mom can rock him to sleep or read stories, while Jason is still holding him, James will grab Jason's shoulder, pull up, and say "Moof!"...which means "out of the chair, I'm done with you, mom's turn to sit in the chair". Hilarious!
His favorite books are A Truck Goes Rattley Bumpa by Jonathan London, "eb-ry-fin" means A Purpose for Everything or A Place for Everything, series by Larry Stewart (love these!)
Went to Chuck E Cheese this afternoon as a family. They added Guitar Hero--my new favorite game! Maybe we should get a wii...
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Favorite moments today:
--Sitting with Bekah in pew during testimony time and being able to trust her to sit alone while I take care of my calling and bear my testimony (since Jason in the hall with JJ), and her helping me set up the hymn numbers up front before church
--JJ walking into nursery, fully decked in his newsie's cap and blazer, hair slightly over his ears, sandwich bag in hand for lunch, all by himself, no crying as I left.
--Pretending we're riding a train while in the car so JJ will stop being upset about not being on a real train (we pass one on the way to/from church), saying things like "the next stop will be..." pretending to be conductors and engineers, "now arriving..."
--family game time playing "mom says" or "dad says" (like simon says). When it was Bekah's turn to choose she said "the chicken dance!" Then Jason found the music for the bunny hop and we hopped around the house and into JJ's room for bed. Totally funny memory I'll always remember, us all acting like chickens and bunnies!
--Papa pretending to be animals for JJ on the phone
--Bekah excited to play piano for me and listening and watching me play
--getting out Bekah's baby quilt and reading the secret message in the stitching
Wonderful day.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Got a bad headache on Saturday and it's still not gone. Pain at the base of my neck, stiffening my neck, throbbing in my throat, ear fullness, little bit of sinus pressure. Feels like a congestion headache but nose not stuffy. Maybe a reaction to spreading mulch on Saturday.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
What a weird day. Headache seemed better, so went to work. Bam--the headache came on hard and fast. I almost passed out from the pain and was almost crying, but I finished the house (in the fastest time ever amazingly), Jason picked me up (he had the car--good thing cause I was in too much pain to drive) and took me to urgent care. I told them it was the worst headache I'd ever had. It was. But that started a chain of events: an iv for pain meds and fluids, CAT scan and other tests, headache still there, so wanted me to go to the hospital for more tests, but since had the iv they were required to send me in an ambulance! So went to immediate care about 11:45am, waved goodbye to family thinking I'd see them in a hour, ended up at the hospital about 3-4pm, neurologist comes in at 5:30/6pm says I need to stay overnight for observation! She said it could be a sinus infection or migraine, but also could be meningitis or a small bleed because of my head injury in Jan. By the time my MRI was done it was 7:30 and JJ was really needing to get to sleep. So I never got to see my family again that day. My visiting teacher (bless her soul) brought me a bag Jason had packed, complete with Bekah's teddy bear and food to eat. So here I am with a 15in TV that's pretty far away up in the corner of the ceiling, a leaky faucet, and wall clock that ticks every 1/2 second when the second hand is from the 6 to the 2 (can you tell I was bored?), plus all the noise from the nurses station across from me with only a curtain between us. It was very difficult to sleep. But I guess no worse than being interrupted by scared kids all night--although I would have preferred that. :{ I miss my family.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
MRI results showed sinusitis. All this for just that! But how grateful I am it was only that. But didn't get released from hospital until 9pm!! The whole day was spent waiting for the neurologist to show up and look at the results. The int med dr and the ENT both said I could go about noon. At 6pm, neurologist shows up and ordered ANOTHER CT, this time with dye. By that time, I told Jason to come and bring kids hoping that would get me out of here faster, even though it was past JJ's bedtime at that point. The nurses gave the kids ice cream. What a day! At least Walgreens filled the Rx in 5 minutes! Obviously had to reschedule work for the next few days.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Substituted for organist in church today. Very humbling since I totally messed up and got all the sound buttons wrong. At least all my music callings have forced us to be early to church.
After church we watched home movies from Disneyland and JJ started calling Darth Vader "helmut". The kids were wanting dessert but we didn't have much and amazingly I had recently got some free martini glasses, I pulled those out and made yogurt parfaits with crushed cornflakes on top (since we were out of granola) and the kids loved it! Maybe a new family tradition. James thought the glasses were candles except you got to eat them.
Tonight Bekah was listing all the things she loves:
"1. Heavenly Father & Jesus the same. 2. Then my family. 3. Next is my relatives all the way until the end. 4. Then my blankies."
She's decided since Jason still has his baby blanket (used as a pillow) that she "will sleep with my blankie when I'm an adult too, since daddy is my relative and we are connected."
Monday, June 14, 2010
Bekah lost a tooth tonight without even knowing it! She wrote a note to the tooth fairy after Jason pointed out she was missing a tooth (we think lost while brushing teeth), luckily the tooth fairy wrote back the she found it in the drain as she's always looking for lost teeth and gave her a $1. The P.S. part said "Thanks for cleaning your room so I can move around easier." Hopefully that will sink in.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Internet still not working! It worked for bit last time the tech came, but now it's been out for a few days. And now our TV doesn't work either. Kids were going nuts waiting in the house all day for the rep to show up, and once he did they couldn't watch TV or play in the living room so despite mosquitoes and the weather, I took the kids for a walk in the stroller to the school park across the street. It started raining and I didn't even care. So we swung on the swings and sang, in the rain which started drizzling and then very quickly started downpouring, so we ran home totally soaked, as Bekah says, "Those people in their cars are so lucky!" I was thinking not. What a memory.
Since Bekah's been out of school she's mellowed out some, is more helpful and patient, and her and JJ play longer together. JJ's vocabulary has increased tons--wonder if this is connected to hearing Bekah more. Homeschooling is looking better and better.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Lately I especially love being around Bekah. I already feel closer with learning new things together (we've started some history and science this summer) and she's become my shopping friend! It's so wonderful to feel us becoming friends.
Favorite memory: Bekah setting up Mommy's Beauty Shop and doing each other's hair. It doesn't seem that long ago that I was in Bekah's place doing exactly the same thing to my mom. Sometimes it's alarming how quick it feels that life comes full circle.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Went to the Crystal Lake beach as a family after dinner. James went up to his waist and chest in the water, no fear, before I had to pull him back some. He loves the water. Bekah's been nervous about swimming and getting in the water over her waist. But tonight she relaxed with Jason there and he was showing her some things about swimming.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Father's Day! I tried putting the pancake batter in a squeeze bottle and made Jason pancakes shaped like D-A-D. Luckily they are letters you can turn around since I didn't realize you need to pour them backwards if you want the even color on top. I was pretty proud of myself for being so creative. :)
JJ kept saying "Appy Faddaz Dey" today--even during sacrament meeting!
Today I found out my sister is expecting!!!! I am so excited for her! It felt good to be the big sister talking it through, something I never got to experience with my first pregnancy.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Bekah really wants a pet, so she's been pretending she has one. A while back she named her plastic Halloween spider "Spike" and set up a portable cage with things for him to do in it. She would ask JJ if he wanted to hold Spike and she would take him around the house. Then it was "Lucky" the plastic goldfish for a week or two. I don't know what happened to Spike, but today she came to dinner with Lucky's baby food jar aquarium except no Lucky. Now it's Sleeping Beauty's gold high heel (plastic) and it's Ricky the cricket! She said he needed air, water, a home and food--"and he eats other insects. I know it sounds gross but that's what they do!" She said she feeds him every day.
I asked her what happened to Lucky. She said he died. "I forgot to feed him." Love her imagination!
JJ's new words: "di-shun-er" for conditioner, "cup a wa-der"
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Cleaned a house. Wanted to be mad at how demanding they were for so little thanks. While cleaning, the question popped into my mind "Why would anyone be like this?" (angrily to myself), then suddenly in a different spirit, "Why would anyone be like this? What happened to make them like this?" And suddenly was able to clean their house without being angry. I felt feeling sorry for them and how unhappy they seemed. Glad I could be someone they feel they got their money's worth on and that I cared about doing the job right.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
My cousin and her family came to visit! It was so fun to stay up late talking to Nate and Julee. We all get a long so well, and Nate is also getting his PhD in English. So fun to entertain company. We are so missing our families.
More on homeschooling and learning styles
Finished reading The Well Trained Mind by Jesse Wise. Amazing book. Have had a copy for so long (borrowed from my friend) but hadn't spent much time with it until now (end of May/early June) as it's so big and overwhelming. Yet one night after deciding I needed to seriously consider homeschooling, and feeling strongly led in that direction that it may be the right thing for Bekah, despite my inclination to not want to do it, I read almost the whole thing in one night (all but chapter 1 and the jr high, high school years). Didn't get much sleep, but sometimes you just really feel like God is directing you and wants you to do something even in the middle of the night. It's the only time to really meditate and be able to see the whole picture of something because there are no interruptions. Somehow I was blessed with seeing more of the big picture of elementary education and how to go about it for our situation. Reading review after review of curriculum, yet within minutes receiving inspiration just by having it feel right or not right, and at the same time having to ignore my strong inner makeup that tells me I have to research everything about everything so I can make informed decisions. Learning to trust those feelings and acknowledging that it's help I need, so I can move on and do what needs to be done. I don't think I've ever felt that much inspiration flowing through me in that short of a time frame. (And I sure do look back and remember this night when the days get hard, when I wonder why I am doing this. The scripture somewhere that says "why doubt ye? I have already given you an answer" frequently comes to my mind.)
Sometimes I wish I could feel that 'pure inspiration flowing' into me more often, it's such a wonderful feeling to really feel like you're headed on the right path and not just hoping or guessing you're near it. I wish I had more time to ponder and meditate, but it seems to always come at the expense of leaving something else undone my family or my household needs. Motherhood lately seems to comprise less of diaper changing and feeding, and more of taxi-ing, phone calls, and constant interruptions. I'm not sure I like this increased busy-ness...it's so hard to make time to enjoy. I guess that's a hidden blessing of having another child is it forces you to feed and diaper change which ends up being a wonderful break from the hectic pace of life. If you would have told me this while in the thick of it with Bekah, I would never have believed it!
Later in May...studying more about curriculum and assessing learning styles. Fun side track trying to guess what Meiers Briggs code we each are! My best guess is Bekah is ENFP, but I think that might change as she gets older (Extrovert, intuiting, feeling, perceiving). Myself, INFJ (Introvert, intuiting, feeling, judging). I'm guessing Jason is ISTJ or ISTP (Introvert, sensing, thinking, and either judging or perceiving). Easy to see how Bekah is constantly feeling like life is boring since we're both introverts and she's not! It says a good occupation for Bekah's style is journalist--totally perfect fit! She loves to watch and listen for the news and has to know what's going to everyone everywhere! She loves getting the whole story. And she loves stories that really happened. She will love studying history!
Best introductory homeschooling book I've read so far: So You're Thinking About Homeschooling by Lisa Whelchel, former Fact of Life actress. Really easy read and helps introduce about 17 possible ways to homeschool. Totally makes you feel like you can find a method that works for you.
Piano lessons and summer job
I think in all these updating posts, I think I forgot to mention that I've started teaching piano lessons. Never thought I'd be one of those moms who works two jobs and still holds it together--I always thought I didn't have it in my to do all that and it seems like what supermoms do. But it is what it is. I was surprised to discover what the going rate for lessons out here is, so it makes it profitable in a third of the time it takes to clean a house! So at the end of March I began teaching one of Bekah's friends whose mom asked if I would teach. I also started teaching Bekah as well--wondered if teaching my own child would work, but since she's aware of someone else taking lessons and is at about the same level, it keeps her motivated to learn.
I'm finding I like teaching more than I thought I would. I've taught here and there, but never to do it for a regular paycheck. And I never liked the idea of forcing kids to practice when I know if that had happened to me I never would have liked the piano so much. But at the same time, I'm finding it wonderful to remember how excited I am about music and finding ways to inspire others to find that enjoyment.
So since it's summer now (Jason is done with his semester May 1st) I go back to working 3-4 days a week cleaning houses, and now piano lessons 1 day a week. (Thus the reason for almost no blogging or keeping up with friends since then. And just wait, it only gets crazier in September!) This gives Jason a sorely needed break from teaching, allow us to have an income with a flexible schedule so we can go to Utah for 4 weeks this summer, and frees up Jason's time to finish his office and the family room in the basement (originally for more play space, but now using it for homeschool mostly). I don't mind cleaning houses when you have clients you like to clean for, but these past two summers when you get random clients it's really hard to go to work. You never know what you're going to find. It might take 3 hours, it might take 6. You might be threatened by pets or overwhelmed by mold. It's not easy work. It's hard on my body. But it's worked out to be the best job for me right now as I know my weaknesses and limitations--needing a highly flexible schedule where I can leave the work day at work and not be tempted to be a workaholic. The occasional tips are nice too. :)
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
When I got home from work and taking Jason to the doctor and getting medicine, just in time for Bekah to get home from school, we tried to do something fun and spontaneous since Bekah was having a rough day. So we donned our bathing suits and turned the hose on in the front yard, only to be attacked by mosquitoes! They are extremely bad this year! Even the long-timers say it's bad. They come out in the day now, not just at night, and since we're behind on cutting our grass and haven't sprayed yet, they love our house. Poor Bekah. In 10 minutes we had about 10 bites between us. We had to stop. So to make up for it, we let the kids play in their suits in the bathtub with water guns and spray bottles. Almost as fun! They had a blast. We should do that more often. Except then JJ slipped and hit his head. Poor James.
Jason still has bronchitis and is trying some new medicine. I took the kids out of the house so he could sleep and we found a night light for James! Both kids love it! It's this cute white bear they named Fuzzy as soon as they saw it. It's a rechargeable animal you can carry around with you that runs on LED lights from Target. James has started not sleeping through the night because he's become scared of the dark, so we're hoping this will solve the problem. It's too much for me to deal with a sick husband and a toddler who won't sleep through the night anymore and work during the day all at the same time. This one night while Jason was gone on his trip, went to bed late because of homeschool research, slept for a half hour when JJ started screaming! He took an hour to fall back asleep, then awake again at his normal 7am. This happened both Fri and Sat night. Then Sunday night when I was trying to go to bed early (albeit 11pm) JJ woke up right then screaming and he'd only calm down if I stayed in the room so I ended up falling asleep in his chair until 1am. Finally got into my bed, only be woken up by Bekah who had a bad dream. Then JJ started crying again! I don't remember what happened after that, but I ended up averaging 4 hours of sleep each night Jason was gone! Sure taught me how hard single parenting is. So I'm hoping the night light helps James.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
It worked! JJ screamed for about 2 seconds and then it was silent. He put himself back to sleep! The night light, although not cheap, was worth every penny!
Ended up going to urgent care today because a bug bite I got on my hand while running in the hose started swelling up. Put me on antibiotic and dr also decided to give me a tetanus shot since I think I was 16 for the last one. That hurt worse than my thumb! And it made me feel exhausted. (Come to think of it--it was probably my crazy last several days that actually did it!) Ended up rescheduling work for another day.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Spent an HOUR on the phone with AT&T trying to fix our internet. (Had to be after 9pm since we're out of minutes this month again--luckily their call center is open late.) I'm sensing no savings of time due to technology lately. Sometimes it's so frustrating I almost don't want new things to be invented because I don't want to have to keep up--it's too expensive, takes too much time to learn or starts new habits I didn't have to learn about before.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Bekah and I are reading a kids biography of Abigail Adams, received from her nana for her birthday. Thank you! She loves hearing historical fiction stories.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
JJ went from communicating by noise (could say drink but always preferred making slurping noises instead, knew how to say 'dog' but made 'ruff, ruff' noises intead--that kind of thing--can we say auditory learner!), to very slowly using one word here and there, to fully blasting forward into sentences! And he's using I/me/you in correct form! I'm pretty sure he doesn't realize what he's saying but he copies us a lot. He learns new words every day. He loves big characters he can go hug, like Chuck E Cheese. (He would have LOVED Cosmo!) Favorite phrases right now are "I did it", " 'mon" for come on, "They're coming" for birds (not sure why he got into that), "outside", "lawnmower" sometimes calling it "mow mow", "miwt" or "milt" for milk, and "ug" for hug.
He used to communicate with us by having us ask him a list of questions or so to try to guess what he'd want since having a hard time verbalizing it. So we'd ask things like "diaper change?" JJ: "Nooow" or shake head no or act upset. "Change clothes?" JJ same reaction. "Eat...hungry?" Same. "Blanket?" If this is what he wanted he'd start forced laughing! And that's how you'd know you got it right! It almost sounded like 1/2 crying 1/2 laughing.
He says "Tant U, Wew com" together 'thank you, welcome'--he thinks they go together. He's said "I found it!", "I see it!", "Hold you", "Tee bee" for TV, "mote" for remote, and "Hew-whoa" to mean phone or hello. When he wants Jason to get up out of the rocking chair so mom can rock him to sleep or read stories, while Jason is still holding him, James will grab Jason's shoulder, pull up, and say "Moof!"...which means "out of the chair, I'm done with you, mom's turn to sit in the chair". Hilarious!
His favorite books are A Truck Goes Rattley Bumpa by Jonathan London, "eb-ry-fin" means A Purpose for Everything or A Place for Everything, series by Larry Stewart (love these!)
Went to Chuck E Cheese this afternoon as a family. They added Guitar Hero--my new favorite game! Maybe we should get a wii...
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Favorite moments today:
--Sitting with Bekah in pew during testimony time and being able to trust her to sit alone while I take care of my calling and bear my testimony (since Jason in the hall with JJ), and her helping me set up the hymn numbers up front before church
--JJ walking into nursery, fully decked in his newsie's cap and blazer, hair slightly over his ears, sandwich bag in hand for lunch, all by himself, no crying as I left.
--Pretending we're riding a train while in the car so JJ will stop being upset about not being on a real train (we pass one on the way to/from church), saying things like "the next stop will be..." pretending to be conductors and engineers, "now arriving..."
--family game time playing "mom says" or "dad says" (like simon says). When it was Bekah's turn to choose she said "the chicken dance!" Then Jason found the music for the bunny hop and we hopped around the house and into JJ's room for bed. Totally funny memory I'll always remember, us all acting like chickens and bunnies!
--Papa pretending to be animals for JJ on the phone
--Bekah excited to play piano for me and listening and watching me play
--getting out Bekah's baby quilt and reading the secret message in the stitching
Wonderful day.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Got a bad headache on Saturday and it's still not gone. Pain at the base of my neck, stiffening my neck, throbbing in my throat, ear fullness, little bit of sinus pressure. Feels like a congestion headache but nose not stuffy. Maybe a reaction to spreading mulch on Saturday.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
What a weird day. Headache seemed better, so went to work. Bam--the headache came on hard and fast. I almost passed out from the pain and was almost crying, but I finished the house (in the fastest time ever amazingly), Jason picked me up (he had the car--good thing cause I was in too much pain to drive) and took me to urgent care. I told them it was the worst headache I'd ever had. It was. But that started a chain of events: an iv for pain meds and fluids, CAT scan and other tests, headache still there, so wanted me to go to the hospital for more tests, but since had the iv they were required to send me in an ambulance! So went to immediate care about 11:45am, waved goodbye to family thinking I'd see them in a hour, ended up at the hospital about 3-4pm, neurologist comes in at 5:30/6pm says I need to stay overnight for observation! She said it could be a sinus infection or migraine, but also could be meningitis or a small bleed because of my head injury in Jan. By the time my MRI was done it was 7:30 and JJ was really needing to get to sleep. So I never got to see my family again that day. My visiting teacher (bless her soul) brought me a bag Jason had packed, complete with Bekah's teddy bear and food to eat. So here I am with a 15in TV that's pretty far away up in the corner of the ceiling, a leaky faucet, and wall clock that ticks every 1/2 second when the second hand is from the 6 to the 2 (can you tell I was bored?), plus all the noise from the nurses station across from me with only a curtain between us. It was very difficult to sleep. But I guess no worse than being interrupted by scared kids all night--although I would have preferred that. :{ I miss my family.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
MRI results showed sinusitis. All this for just that! But how grateful I am it was only that. But didn't get released from hospital until 9pm!! The whole day was spent waiting for the neurologist to show up and look at the results. The int med dr and the ENT both said I could go about noon. At 6pm, neurologist shows up and ordered ANOTHER CT, this time with dye. By that time, I told Jason to come and bring kids hoping that would get me out of here faster, even though it was past JJ's bedtime at that point. The nurses gave the kids ice cream. What a day! At least Walgreens filled the Rx in 5 minutes! Obviously had to reschedule work for the next few days.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Substituted for organist in church today. Very humbling since I totally messed up and got all the sound buttons wrong. At least all my music callings have forced us to be early to church.
After church we watched home movies from Disneyland and JJ started calling Darth Vader "helmut". The kids were wanting dessert but we didn't have much and amazingly I had recently got some free martini glasses, I pulled those out and made yogurt parfaits with crushed cornflakes on top (since we were out of granola) and the kids loved it! Maybe a new family tradition. James thought the glasses were candles except you got to eat them.
Tonight Bekah was listing all the things she loves:
"1. Heavenly Father & Jesus the same. 2. Then my family. 3. Next is my relatives all the way until the end. 4. Then my blankies."
She's decided since Jason still has his baby blanket (used as a pillow) that she "will sleep with my blankie when I'm an adult too, since daddy is my relative and we are connected."
Monday, June 14, 2010
Bekah lost a tooth tonight without even knowing it! She wrote a note to the tooth fairy after Jason pointed out she was missing a tooth (we think lost while brushing teeth), luckily the tooth fairy wrote back the she found it in the drain as she's always looking for lost teeth and gave her a $1. The P.S. part said "Thanks for cleaning your room so I can move around easier." Hopefully that will sink in.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Internet still not working! It worked for bit last time the tech came, but now it's been out for a few days. And now our TV doesn't work either. Kids were going nuts waiting in the house all day for the rep to show up, and once he did they couldn't watch TV or play in the living room so despite mosquitoes and the weather, I took the kids for a walk in the stroller to the school park across the street. It started raining and I didn't even care. So we swung on the swings and sang, in the rain which started drizzling and then very quickly started downpouring, so we ran home totally soaked, as Bekah says, "Those people in their cars are so lucky!" I was thinking not. What a memory.
Since Bekah's been out of school she's mellowed out some, is more helpful and patient, and her and JJ play longer together. JJ's vocabulary has increased tons--wonder if this is connected to hearing Bekah more. Homeschooling is looking better and better.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Lately I especially love being around Bekah. I already feel closer with learning new things together (we've started some history and science this summer) and she's become my shopping friend! It's so wonderful to feel us becoming friends.
Favorite memory: Bekah setting up Mommy's Beauty Shop and doing each other's hair. It doesn't seem that long ago that I was in Bekah's place doing exactly the same thing to my mom. Sometimes it's alarming how quick it feels that life comes full circle.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Went to the Crystal Lake beach as a family after dinner. James went up to his waist and chest in the water, no fear, before I had to pull him back some. He loves the water. Bekah's been nervous about swimming and getting in the water over her waist. But tonight she relaxed with Jason there and he was showing her some things about swimming.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Father's Day! I tried putting the pancake batter in a squeeze bottle and made Jason pancakes shaped like D-A-D. Luckily they are letters you can turn around since I didn't realize you need to pour them backwards if you want the even color on top. I was pretty proud of myself for being so creative. :)
JJ kept saying "Appy Faddaz Dey" today--even during sacrament meeting!
Today I found out my sister is expecting!!!! I am so excited for her! It felt good to be the big sister talking it through, something I never got to experience with my first pregnancy.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Bekah really wants a pet, so she's been pretending she has one. A while back she named her plastic Halloween spider "Spike" and set up a portable cage with things for him to do in it. She would ask JJ if he wanted to hold Spike and she would take him around the house. Then it was "Lucky" the plastic goldfish for a week or two. I don't know what happened to Spike, but today she came to dinner with Lucky's baby food jar aquarium except no Lucky. Now it's Sleeping Beauty's gold high heel (plastic) and it's Ricky the cricket! She said he needed air, water, a home and food--"and he eats other insects. I know it sounds gross but that's what they do!" She said she feeds him every day.
I asked her what happened to Lucky. She said he died. "I forgot to feed him." Love her imagination!
JJ's new words: "di-shun-er" for conditioner, "cup a wa-der"
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Cleaned a house. Wanted to be mad at how demanding they were for so little thanks. While cleaning, the question popped into my mind "Why would anyone be like this?" (angrily to myself), then suddenly in a different spirit, "Why would anyone be like this? What happened to make them like this?" And suddenly was able to clean their house without being angry. I felt feeling sorry for them and how unhappy they seemed. Glad I could be someone they feel they got their money's worth on and that I cared about doing the job right.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
My cousin and her family came to visit! It was so fun to stay up late talking to Nate and Julee. We all get a long so well, and Nate is also getting his PhD in English. So fun to entertain company. We are so missing our families.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Pretend it's April 2010
So for various reasons, many of which had to do with internet access being VERY sketchy for a while, I ended up going back to a written journal. And still I haven't stopped. I still love the idea of blogging, but I've found barriers to it.
1-Blogging involves the internet, and invariably I get distracted on the internet so it takes longer to blog than I have time for. I keep remembering things I was supposed to pay for online, or research online, or emails that have to get sent for church callings or other reasons...
2-I am a pretty decent typer. I can type fast. That's a good thing, and actually one of my reasons for blogging in the first place. But I've learned I can type so fast I don't have time to form my sentences before writing (or at least I don't take the time to do so), whereas with hand writing entries I can think about that while I write and say what I mean. And by virtue of the fact that my hand gets more tired I think I learn to be more brief (at least more brief than I would have been online).
3-You can edit what you write on a blog. This is too tempting to ignore for me. I can pour over a post for 30-60 minutes just making sure I said everything I was thinking and that I said it in a good way. Hand writing entries for the most part can't be edited easily so somehow I just turn off my brain to change what I write and just might rephrase it if needed, but I usually just write and don't read it over to remember what I said...again because I write it more slowly I think I remember it more as I'm writing more.
4-Blogging involves technology--like computers that either are being slow, or aren't working, or everyone wants to use at the same time. I can go anywhere with my journal and not have to worry about a strong internet connection or having children pull on my arms because they want to be on the computer too.
I didn't expect to post on the downsides to blogging...
But it explains why I haven't been writing.
So for my own family's sake (those both here and far away), I'm going back to April 2010 and going to do my best to highlight what's been happening.
April 9, 2010--Friday
I've discovered I love pruning--maybe not at the correct time of year, but I loved pruning our trees and bushes after the green leaves started coming out and the blossoms forming. It was easy to see what was dead and it felt good to do something outside in the sun, and you can see your progress. Purging things you don't need always makes it easier to breathe for me, and pruning seems sort of like that. It's sure easier than tackling the 'pruning' that needs to happen inside the house or inside myself. Couple that with the fact that you and your kids have been cooped up in the house for the winter and now we can spread out and not scream because we don't all want the same toy anymore because we're busy exploring--and you have a recipe for enjoying the moment.
April 10, 2010--Saturday
Dates: No matter how much your children protest you not only have to go on dates with your spouse, you need to tell your children that's where you are going and why you need them to go to bed on time. It shows them...
-your excited to be with your spouse
-he is important to you
-you make time for him just like you do for them
-it makes it even more respected by them (in the long run) and by you
'Home' dates are so much more real and actually work when you tell everyone that's what's happening ahead of time. You may not do anything new, but the name and expectation makes it more fulfilling and satisfying.
Even if it seems cheesy to call it a date. Even if your kids whine and complain and makes them try to stay up later. Even if it's easier to not let them know so they don't know what they're missing and they don't put up a fight. If that's what it takes to get you to respect your spouse and date night, then do it. And just by virtue of you respecting it, your children will learn and feel safe that their mom loves their dad and wants to be with him. And that feels good.
What's that quote? The greatest thing a husband (or wife) can do for their children is to love their mother (or father).
(Side note for Sept 2010: I'm definitely still working on this...summer plans and activities seem to throw schedules out the window and I'm still recovering!)
April 11, 2010--Sunday
(Sept 2010--I'm not going to each day, I promise!)
Jason's birthday! I was reflecting on birthdays in general, particularly feeling not great about remembering that I'm getting older each May 10th and somehow realized these things:
The older you get the more birthdays you can see so it's seems it's not worth celebrating cause it's just another year and you've had so many (I know some will laugh at this who are much wiser in years than I!). But tonight I learned something about giving. Birthdays are a chance for others to learn about the joy of giving. Do your children see you excited about giving? Do they know how to treat a gift with care and how to show you care about how it's given?
This led to this chain of thoughts:
We're born into this world.
Our parents are our entire world. (1)
Then parents are just part of our world (like when starting school). (2)
Then we don't want them to be a part of our world. (3)
They aren't part of our world. (4)
Soon we miss them being part of our world (5)
many times because we became parents too (6)
And realize how much a part of our world our parents are and have always been. (7)
Then, as we realize they are gone, they become our entire world. (8)
Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could somehow stay in lines 1 and 8? This is a cycle of parenthood.
Sept 2010--more thoughts--The end result is the same as when we're born, but look how much now we've chosen it and are aware of it and feel it. So much to do with why our Heavenly Father needed to send us away for a while. Where am I on this chain with God? He was my entire world before I came to this earth. And He will be my entire world when I return to Him. So am I continuing on this chain? Do I appreciate Him as much as I should?
Had ward conference today and Bekah sang in church with the Marcucci girls part of "Jesus Once Was a Little Child". She was very nervous, but did wonderful! They sang the first part of the song and then the ward choir came in singing "I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus". At the end of that, they all sing together
So little children, let's you and I,
Try to be like him,
Try, try, try.
I'm trying to be like him.
Very moving.
Pres. Labrum's talk that day: God doesn't require us to be moving at the same speed. He only cares that we're moving.
So let's you and I, try, try, try.
April 13, 2010--Tuesday
Read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman in one day! Highly recommended for strengthening marriage.
April 16, 2010--Friday
Had to get a new washing machine, and I LOVE it! We brought the netbook with Muppet Babies episodes for the kids to watch in the shopping cart so Jason and I could really talk about what we're doing instead of refereeing the whole time. It was so nice to be able to shop together and make big decisions like that without anyone fighting or complaining! Isn't technology amazing! Then we had pre-dinner with shakes at Jamba Juice.
Funny saying by Bekah:
Jason likes to tease when we say one thing and it can mean another. And today is was getting frustrating to Bekah. She was talking about school library day and the books they were reading.
Bekah said "We were reading 'If You Give a Pig a Pancake'..."
Jason interjected "What? You ate pig pancakes?!"
B: "No! If You Give a Pig a Pancake!"
J: "What? You fed pancakes to pigs!"
B: (this is getting upset and mad at dad...but dad was only trying to joke and tease to make her smile)
(this is me talking for about 3-4 minutes about why dad does this and that he's only doing it in fun...he does understand you)
A couple minutes later...
Bekah says, "So today we read this book about a dad. He has this daughter. And he teases her a lot."
We busted up laughing!! So fun to hear her get it and to try to get back in fun.
April 17, 2010--Saturday
Fav things about today:
-Jason putting up our new mailbox!
-watching Bekah and JJ build a castle out of diaper boxes and blankets.
-JJ's random hugs to Bekah (oh and he started saying Bekah correctly last Sunday! Bekah was so happy she was literally speechless!)
-We got blizzards together!
April 22, 2010--Thursday
Led a book group discussion on The Purloined Letter by Edgar Allan Poe. I wonder if Dupin would have been able to solve it without first having the police inspector fail? Dupin made it seem so obvious but it was only obvious after seeing the more complete picture and observing someone else's actions.
Dupin's solution was to place himself in the shoes of G--- to think like he thinks. That is hard. But a valuable skill. Wish I could think like my kids to understand them better!
Taught another piano lesson today. Started end of March teaching one student, plus Bekah. Going great.
Bekah lost a tooth today! I guess the tooth fairy decided the longer it takes for teeth to fall out, the more $?? or maybe just more $ for teeth 5-8?? (She got 4 quarters instead of 2.)
April 24, 2010--Saturday
Bekah and I were doing a puzzle together. We were talking about friends at school and boyfriends. She told me she used to have a boyfriend. I vaguely knew this but had never heard her tell me before. So I asked her what happened.
She said "We just decided it wasn't appropriate at our age."
Awesome Bekah!
April 25, 2010--Sunday
Stake Conference today. Finished The Book of Mormon today. Met the stake goal!
Everything which inviteth to do good, which bears good fruits (helps people do good things)
is of God
April 29, 2010--Thursday
JJ's been going around saying "uh huh" instead of yes now, and in such a happy way!
On the 27th he went downtown on the train with Jason and me and saw so many "people" and "buildings". Learning new words like crazy.
I've always heard if you want someone to trust and respect you, you have to show trust and respect towards them.
How do you make a 7yr old feel trusted?
April 30, 2010--Friday
Tornado watch again this afternoon/evening. Sirens didn't go off but it looked ominous for a while there. We were safe. My prayers were answered.
Started reading A Well Trained Mind tonight. Starting to think more about what to do for Bekah and school. First grade is a challenge. I don't want her to start hating school and learning, or to be labeled. I thought I'd never homeschool...I had so many reasons for why it wasn't a good idea in general or why having her gone during the day makes me a better mother because I get "me" time or bonding time with James. It's just what's done. You send your kids to public or private school. And, forgive me for saying it, homeschool was for people who seem like they don't fit in or are trying to "bubble" themselves away from the world. (Which is funny I think this since I sort of homeschooled for high school.) I would so be doing private school if we had the money. So my options are limited. But this book is amazing at making you feel like you can do it and that it's important to sacrifice now to give your child what they need to have a life full of loving learning. As a mother, it's amazing once you realize that you love your child and you truly want whats best for them that you're willing to do what they need, even if it means great sacrifice. I think that might be one of the greatest lessons of motherhood.
1-Blogging involves the internet, and invariably I get distracted on the internet so it takes longer to blog than I have time for. I keep remembering things I was supposed to pay for online, or research online, or emails that have to get sent for church callings or other reasons...
2-I am a pretty decent typer. I can type fast. That's a good thing, and actually one of my reasons for blogging in the first place. But I've learned I can type so fast I don't have time to form my sentences before writing (or at least I don't take the time to do so), whereas with hand writing entries I can think about that while I write and say what I mean. And by virtue of the fact that my hand gets more tired I think I learn to be more brief (at least more brief than I would have been online).
3-You can edit what you write on a blog. This is too tempting to ignore for me. I can pour over a post for 30-60 minutes just making sure I said everything I was thinking and that I said it in a good way. Hand writing entries for the most part can't be edited easily so somehow I just turn off my brain to change what I write and just might rephrase it if needed, but I usually just write and don't read it over to remember what I said...again because I write it more slowly I think I remember it more as I'm writing more.
4-Blogging involves technology--like computers that either are being slow, or aren't working, or everyone wants to use at the same time. I can go anywhere with my journal and not have to worry about a strong internet connection or having children pull on my arms because they want to be on the computer too.
I didn't expect to post on the downsides to blogging...
But it explains why I haven't been writing.
So for my own family's sake (those both here and far away), I'm going back to April 2010 and going to do my best to highlight what's been happening.
April 9, 2010--Friday
I've discovered I love pruning--maybe not at the correct time of year, but I loved pruning our trees and bushes after the green leaves started coming out and the blossoms forming. It was easy to see what was dead and it felt good to do something outside in the sun, and you can see your progress. Purging things you don't need always makes it easier to breathe for me, and pruning seems sort of like that. It's sure easier than tackling the 'pruning' that needs to happen inside the house or inside myself. Couple that with the fact that you and your kids have been cooped up in the house for the winter and now we can spread out and not scream because we don't all want the same toy anymore because we're busy exploring--and you have a recipe for enjoying the moment.
April 10, 2010--Saturday
Dates: No matter how much your children protest you not only have to go on dates with your spouse, you need to tell your children that's where you are going and why you need them to go to bed on time. It shows them...
-your excited to be with your spouse
-he is important to you
-you make time for him just like you do for them
-it makes it even more respected by them (in the long run) and by you
'Home' dates are so much more real and actually work when you tell everyone that's what's happening ahead of time. You may not do anything new, but the name and expectation makes it more fulfilling and satisfying.
Even if it seems cheesy to call it a date. Even if your kids whine and complain and makes them try to stay up later. Even if it's easier to not let them know so they don't know what they're missing and they don't put up a fight. If that's what it takes to get you to respect your spouse and date night, then do it. And just by virtue of you respecting it, your children will learn and feel safe that their mom loves their dad and wants to be with him. And that feels good.
What's that quote? The greatest thing a husband (or wife) can do for their children is to love their mother (or father).
(Side note for Sept 2010: I'm definitely still working on this...summer plans and activities seem to throw schedules out the window and I'm still recovering!)
April 11, 2010--Sunday
(Sept 2010--I'm not going to each day, I promise!)
Jason's birthday! I was reflecting on birthdays in general, particularly feeling not great about remembering that I'm getting older each May 10th and somehow realized these things:
The older you get the more birthdays you can see so it's seems it's not worth celebrating cause it's just another year and you've had so many (I know some will laugh at this who are much wiser in years than I!). But tonight I learned something about giving. Birthdays are a chance for others to learn about the joy of giving. Do your children see you excited about giving? Do they know how to treat a gift with care and how to show you care about how it's given?
This led to this chain of thoughts:
We're born into this world.
Our parents are our entire world. (1)
Then parents are just part of our world (like when starting school). (2)
Then we don't want them to be a part of our world. (3)
They aren't part of our world. (4)
Soon we miss them being part of our world (5)
many times because we became parents too (6)
And realize how much a part of our world our parents are and have always been. (7)
Then, as we realize they are gone, they become our entire world. (8)
Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could somehow stay in lines 1 and 8? This is a cycle of parenthood.
Sept 2010--more thoughts--The end result is the same as when we're born, but look how much now we've chosen it and are aware of it and feel it. So much to do with why our Heavenly Father needed to send us away for a while. Where am I on this chain with God? He was my entire world before I came to this earth. And He will be my entire world when I return to Him. So am I continuing on this chain? Do I appreciate Him as much as I should?
Had ward conference today and Bekah sang in church with the Marcucci girls part of "Jesus Once Was a Little Child". She was very nervous, but did wonderful! They sang the first part of the song and then the ward choir came in singing "I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus". At the end of that, they all sing together
So little children, let's you and I,
Try to be like him,
Try, try, try.
I'm trying to be like him.
Very moving.
Pres. Labrum's talk that day: God doesn't require us to be moving at the same speed. He only cares that we're moving.
So let's you and I, try, try, try.
April 13, 2010--Tuesday
Read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman in one day! Highly recommended for strengthening marriage.
April 16, 2010--Friday
Had to get a new washing machine, and I LOVE it! We brought the netbook with Muppet Babies episodes for the kids to watch in the shopping cart so Jason and I could really talk about what we're doing instead of refereeing the whole time. It was so nice to be able to shop together and make big decisions like that without anyone fighting or complaining! Isn't technology amazing! Then we had pre-dinner with shakes at Jamba Juice.
Funny saying by Bekah:
Jason likes to tease when we say one thing and it can mean another. And today is was getting frustrating to Bekah. She was talking about school library day and the books they were reading.
Bekah said "We were reading 'If You Give a Pig a Pancake'..."
Jason interjected "What? You ate pig pancakes?!"
B: "No! If You Give a Pig a Pancake!"
J: "What? You fed pancakes to pigs!"
B: (this is getting upset and mad at dad...but dad was only trying to joke and tease to make her smile)
(this is me talking for about 3-4 minutes about why dad does this and that he's only doing it in fun...he does understand you)
A couple minutes later...
Bekah says, "So today we read this book about a dad. He has this daughter. And he teases her a lot."
We busted up laughing!! So fun to hear her get it and to try to get back in fun.
April 17, 2010--Saturday
Fav things about today:
-Jason putting up our new mailbox!
-watching Bekah and JJ build a castle out of diaper boxes and blankets.
-JJ's random hugs to Bekah (oh and he started saying Bekah correctly last Sunday! Bekah was so happy she was literally speechless!)
-We got blizzards together!
April 22, 2010--Thursday
Led a book group discussion on The Purloined Letter by Edgar Allan Poe. I wonder if Dupin would have been able to solve it without first having the police inspector fail? Dupin made it seem so obvious but it was only obvious after seeing the more complete picture and observing someone else's actions.
Dupin's solution was to place himself in the shoes of G--- to think like he thinks. That is hard. But a valuable skill. Wish I could think like my kids to understand them better!
Taught another piano lesson today. Started end of March teaching one student, plus Bekah. Going great.
Bekah lost a tooth today! I guess the tooth fairy decided the longer it takes for teeth to fall out, the more $?? or maybe just more $ for teeth 5-8?? (She got 4 quarters instead of 2.)
April 24, 2010--Saturday
Bekah and I were doing a puzzle together. We were talking about friends at school and boyfriends. She told me she used to have a boyfriend. I vaguely knew this but had never heard her tell me before. So I asked her what happened.
She said "We just decided it wasn't appropriate at our age."
Awesome Bekah!
April 25, 2010--Sunday
Stake Conference today. Finished The Book of Mormon today. Met the stake goal!
Everything which inviteth to do good, which bears good fruits (helps people do good things)
is of God
April 29, 2010--Thursday
JJ's been going around saying "uh huh" instead of yes now, and in such a happy way!
On the 27th he went downtown on the train with Jason and me and saw so many "people" and "buildings". Learning new words like crazy.
I've always heard if you want someone to trust and respect you, you have to show trust and respect towards them.
How do you make a 7yr old feel trusted?
April 30, 2010--Friday
Tornado watch again this afternoon/evening. Sirens didn't go off but it looked ominous for a while there. We were safe. My prayers were answered.
Started reading A Well Trained Mind tonight. Starting to think more about what to do for Bekah and school. First grade is a challenge. I don't want her to start hating school and learning, or to be labeled. I thought I'd never homeschool...I had so many reasons for why it wasn't a good idea in general or why having her gone during the day makes me a better mother because I get "me" time or bonding time with James. It's just what's done. You send your kids to public or private school. And, forgive me for saying it, homeschool was for people who seem like they don't fit in or are trying to "bubble" themselves away from the world. (Which is funny I think this since I sort of homeschooled for high school.) I would so be doing private school if we had the money. So my options are limited. But this book is amazing at making you feel like you can do it and that it's important to sacrifice now to give your child what they need to have a life full of loving learning. As a mother, it's amazing once you realize that you love your child and you truly want whats best for them that you're willing to do what they need, even if it means great sacrifice. I think that might be one of the greatest lessons of motherhood.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Thoughts about society
The quest for enjoying motherhood has been a little bumpy for me...but I'm finding out that, little did I know, I guess that's normal in our day and age. I don't have to be ashamed of that rocky transition, and in fact, I need to share it to let other women know that it's okay. With being fed so much propaganda growing up via media and even in the public school system, it's hard not to think motherhood is an interruption on the path women are supposed to take. And even if you don't have children, despite what the world may say, it's okay to do those things that enrich others and build others up instead of prove you're just as good as the rest of the corporate world. But life wasn't supposed to be about a career. A career was supposed to be a means to an end.
Isn't it ironic that in this day and age from the age of roughly four years old we start sending our children to school, be it half days or what have you, so they can start preparing for elementary school (however, I do realize there are many other more awesome reasons to send kids to school but stay with me on this path for a minute), so they can start attending school for roughly 6-7 hours for five days a week from age 5 until 18 only to send them to college for maybe 4 more years (for my husband make that 13 more years)...and for what? Society says you need to do this so you can prepare for a good job, or getting maybe a better job than you would have had without an education...and why? So you can earn enough money to live on, to enjoy life...to be happy. I can't fully articulate it here, but it just alarms me that our entire society seems so completely focused on getting jobs and money. It's like so many people got caught in this vein and went with it until we became draft horses with blinders on digging ourselves deeper and deeper into this never-ending race to learn more and more to become more and more to earn more and more so you can buy more and more...until you realize it's never enough. You'll never have enough money or stuff or education or know everything you want to know. And if you focus on that it gets depressing.
But here's an enlightening thought. We don't have to keep going. We can take the blinders off and see the bigger picture. We can learn to be content. And in the process of freeing ourselves from the ever incessant chant of "more and more" we realize that that wasn't really the point of life anyway. How did we get here?
I'm not saying stop worrying about getting a good job, or not doing your best at your education, or don't send your kids to public school. I'm just saying isn't it ironic that the world says do all this to get a job so you can have money, and family just happens along the way so someone stays home with the kids while the other spouse gets to do what they were meant to do by having the career they have been preparing for their whole life--when if you look back far enough, it started out being we're here to be a part of a family and that was where the heart of the education of life took place, and someone went out into the work place to support the family since they couldn't be completely self-sustaining by themselves anymore while the other spouse got to stay home doing what they were REALLY meant to do and doing the kind of education that takes place mostly by example and hard work...but with lots of love and respect. The stay-at-home spouse and family don't support the working spouse...the working spouse is there to support the family. (In truth, though, they are supposed to be mutually supportive, because they all need each other.) The family is where true learning happens, true love happens, true happiness happens. You can go to school every day all day and gain all the knowledge you want, but for me it just seems like right now all that learning would never make sense without the practical application that happens in being raised as part of and raising your own family. And I mean "family" in the sense that whoever you feel a part of and who you want to sacrifice for and care for. Anyone can be a part of this kind of family if they look around and find people to love and care for, even if they don't live together.
I don't normally sound so soap-box-ish, and please don't think I'm on the extreme end. I'm just in one of those mindsets right now where I feel I'm supposed to write my thoughts down and not analyze them to death to remove any offenses or to make sure I didn't forget everything. That kind of writing is exhausting and not satisfying. So thanks for staying with me on my few moments (that are ever increasing as Bekah is now all day at school...which is partly where this began...who decided my little girl needed to be gone all day every day!) of quiet while James is sleeping (who just woke up so I need to go) to unload some heavy thoughts that probably don't make total sense. Call it possible glimpses into empty-nester syndrome. My heart grieves at times to see her go each day. But part of me is excited to see what she brings home each day in art work and spelling tests...and in life experiences to share and recess stories and how I can help her with the practical application of her public education. (Like 'you have 10 plates and while unloading the dishwasher you break 2...how many do you have left.')
Anyway, my friend Anne just started a new blog with her friend, called Bloom. As a different friend explained: "One of them described this new blog to me a few months ago as a site, 'full of articles, ideas, tutorials, inspiration, etc. for the woman/mom who is trying to bloom, blossom, become more.' " Anne put it best in a post about herself about this whole transition to fulfilling womanhood and becoming mothers that very much describes some of my thoughts when first becoming a mom. If you don't follow any links but one, choose this one to read her brief story. This new venture of hers immediately brought forward to my mind quotes from leaders pleading with women to be forces for good, who promote and uphold the family. Whether it be one blog entry at a time, one conversation at a time, one day at a time, one moment at a time, we can stand up and say, "It's okay to take those blinders off and be free of the race for 'more and more'. Come see how much peace there is in letting go and being content, and living for your family."
As society gets more and more caught up in digging deeper and deeper into the never ending pit, our lights of peace and family and contentment will only shine brighter and brighter until people will flock to ask questions about how they can have that too. Not in a conceited way. But because the more you find love in your family, the more you want others to have what you have. One moment at a time, we can be an influence for good in this world. Suddenly, thinking you have to change the world doesn't seem so overwhelming. And isn't it awe-inspiring how much easier it is to change the world this way than by having the career society thinks I should have?
Isn't it ironic that in this day and age from the age of roughly four years old we start sending our children to school, be it half days or what have you, so they can start preparing for elementary school (however, I do realize there are many other more awesome reasons to send kids to school but stay with me on this path for a minute), so they can start attending school for roughly 6-7 hours for five days a week from age 5 until 18 only to send them to college for maybe 4 more years (for my husband make that 13 more years)...and for what? Society says you need to do this so you can prepare for a good job, or getting maybe a better job than you would have had without an education...and why? So you can earn enough money to live on, to enjoy life...to be happy. I can't fully articulate it here, but it just alarms me that our entire society seems so completely focused on getting jobs and money. It's like so many people got caught in this vein and went with it until we became draft horses with blinders on digging ourselves deeper and deeper into this never-ending race to learn more and more to become more and more to earn more and more so you can buy more and more...until you realize it's never enough. You'll never have enough money or stuff or education or know everything you want to know. And if you focus on that it gets depressing.
But here's an enlightening thought. We don't have to keep going. We can take the blinders off and see the bigger picture. We can learn to be content. And in the process of freeing ourselves from the ever incessant chant of "more and more" we realize that that wasn't really the point of life anyway. How did we get here?
I'm not saying stop worrying about getting a good job, or not doing your best at your education, or don't send your kids to public school. I'm just saying isn't it ironic that the world says do all this to get a job so you can have money, and family just happens along the way so someone stays home with the kids while the other spouse gets to do what they were meant to do by having the career they have been preparing for their whole life--when if you look back far enough, it started out being we're here to be a part of a family and that was where the heart of the education of life took place, and someone went out into the work place to support the family since they couldn't be completely self-sustaining by themselves anymore while the other spouse got to stay home doing what they were REALLY meant to do and doing the kind of education that takes place mostly by example and hard work...but with lots of love and respect. The stay-at-home spouse and family don't support the working spouse...the working spouse is there to support the family. (In truth, though, they are supposed to be mutually supportive, because they all need each other.) The family is where true learning happens, true love happens, true happiness happens. You can go to school every day all day and gain all the knowledge you want, but for me it just seems like right now all that learning would never make sense without the practical application that happens in being raised as part of and raising your own family. And I mean "family" in the sense that whoever you feel a part of and who you want to sacrifice for and care for. Anyone can be a part of this kind of family if they look around and find people to love and care for, even if they don't live together.
I don't normally sound so soap-box-ish, and please don't think I'm on the extreme end. I'm just in one of those mindsets right now where I feel I'm supposed to write my thoughts down and not analyze them to death to remove any offenses or to make sure I didn't forget everything. That kind of writing is exhausting and not satisfying. So thanks for staying with me on my few moments (that are ever increasing as Bekah is now all day at school...which is partly where this began...who decided my little girl needed to be gone all day every day!) of quiet while James is sleeping (who just woke up so I need to go) to unload some heavy thoughts that probably don't make total sense. Call it possible glimpses into empty-nester syndrome. My heart grieves at times to see her go each day. But part of me is excited to see what she brings home each day in art work and spelling tests...and in life experiences to share and recess stories and how I can help her with the practical application of her public education. (Like 'you have 10 plates and while unloading the dishwasher you break 2...how many do you have left.')
Anyway, my friend Anne just started a new blog with her friend, called Bloom. As a different friend explained: "One of them described this new blog to me a few months ago as a site, 'full of articles, ideas, tutorials, inspiration, etc. for the woman/mom who is trying to bloom, blossom, become more.' " Anne put it best in a post about herself about this whole transition to fulfilling womanhood and becoming mothers that very much describes some of my thoughts when first becoming a mom. If you don't follow any links but one, choose this one to read her brief story. This new venture of hers immediately brought forward to my mind quotes from leaders pleading with women to be forces for good, who promote and uphold the family. Whether it be one blog entry at a time, one conversation at a time, one day at a time, one moment at a time, we can stand up and say, "It's okay to take those blinders off and be free of the race for 'more and more'. Come see how much peace there is in letting go and being content, and living for your family."
As society gets more and more caught up in digging deeper and deeper into the never ending pit, our lights of peace and family and contentment will only shine brighter and brighter until people will flock to ask questions about how they can have that too. Not in a conceited way. But because the more you find love in your family, the more you want others to have what you have. One moment at a time, we can be an influence for good in this world. Suddenly, thinking you have to change the world doesn't seem so overwhelming. And isn't it awe-inspiring how much easier it is to change the world this way than by having the career society thinks I should have?
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