This is from Kelly Dobbins' talk in church yesterday. When their family first moved into the ward they only had a 2-yr old boy, named Nathan, and they were living in a small 2-bedroom apartment. Another family in the ward asked if they would house-sit for them while they were gone. Their house was much larger and nicer and the Dobbins loved being there. One day when they got home from this other family's house, Nathan said, "I like their house. I wish we could have a house like that." Kelly said (as would I!) "Me, too!" thinking of how much more space it had. Then Nathan said, "No mom," as if to say 'you don't understand', "I like the feeling in that house. I like the pictures of Jesus." Very soon after they purchased some pictures of the Savior to put around their house.
That reminded me of how lucky I am. (And how I need to get more inspiring pictures!) Yes our house does feel small at times (although all I have to do is reflect on our 1-bedroom apartment at Budge Hall and feel like it's huge!). Sometimes I think about when we can buy that house that just needs carpet and paint and has space for entertaining and running around, where the kids have more space to be creative and we can have that nice sewing/craft room and Jason's library and office and maybe even TWO whole bathrooms, not to mention a master bathroom and a walk-in closet...anyway, the list never ends for many of us. But it's stories like these and the things I see in my kids' faces that remind me that I don't need all that to make home a place we want to be and where we can make good memories. We don't need a lot of space and a lot of stuff to make it a place where we can feel the Spirit. Aren't kids humbling? Pictures do make a big difference. Music is another one for me. Doesn't matter how small of a space you have, you can still put on crazy, fun music and dance with your kids while you clean up the living room or sweep the floor. And then there's the quiet, make-you-think-more music you can put on while you all color pictures or do puzzles or just play with eachother's hair, or when putting the kids to bed. Those are the kinds of things that matter to me. And it's remembering those things that make it easier to turn down the volume on the voices inside me that crave for more of what I don't have, so I can enjoy what I have today.
That leads me to another thing I've been thinking about--the "I'll feel rich when..." list. I can't remember where I read or heard this, but a young married couple decided to make a list of the things that they didn't have that would make them feel like they were rich. When you're first starting out, or when you're still in school, some of those simple things seem like luxury. Things like (just examples, these aren't mine) "I'll feel rich when I get a nice new couch instead of the hand-me-down or DI couch we got when we got married," or "I'll feel rich when I can afford to get real shaving cream instead of using soap on my legs!" or being able to get Kraft Mac-n-Cheese instead of store brand. You get the idea. What was amazing to this couple is they sort of forgot about the list and found it 5 years later or so and were surprised to find they had almost everything on the list...but didn't feel rich. So they learned that they wanted to remind themselves of what they did without before so they could not take it for granted anymore. And so they could stop thinking of themselves as being poor.
At first I thought, "Making a list like this will only make me more greedy and make me dwell too much on what I don't already have." But then I started to see it as a way to reflect more on my life to see what really would make me enjoy life more. And sometimes putting things down on paper helps me see how silly that thing is, or even how much I value that but had forgotten. So I've started to see it as a way to realize goals I might want to set in order to take charge of my life instead of letting life's circumstances take charge of me. And then it becomes empowering. So when we reach something on that list we can say, "Okay, I reached that place. Do I really need more than this?" and be able to stand back and say, "Okay life and world, stop telling me it's not enough." It's a way to re-evaluate our priorities and think about what we'd like to have happen in our lives.
I guess the most vivid personal example that struck me recently was this one. Instead of wallowing in pity about how I don't like my haircut or hair color and dreaming of how I wish my hair was like so-and-so's, adding "Being able to get my hair cut and colored regularly" to my "I'll feel rich when..." list for me pulls me straight out of my pity-party by actually quantifying what it is that I don't like about my life or myself right now. And just by quantifying it makes it that much easier to see how to make it happen. And then it doesn't seem so far away or hard to make happen and maybe even helps me see something else I'd rather do without so I can have this. I just need to make a plan, talk with my spouse about it, and make it happen. (Jason and I have had this discussion already. He would say something like "This is what I've been telling you!" because for months out of every year I walk around complaining that I need a haircut and he'll tell me to go and I don't because I just get stuck feeling sorry for myself or not feeling like I can spend the money on me or I don't make a plan. It's my own fault.)
Having said that, though, putting this in writing somehow helps me step back and see it from a distance and ask myself, "Do I really need that to feel rich?" How does feeling rich feel? What does it take to get there?" I realize in the eternal grand scheme of things having my hair colored isn't super important compared to a lot of other things. It would be nice. But I sure do have a lot of riches all around me already.
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